Are we wives allowed down days too?

sorry to hear you are having a down day, too! Perhaps it’s the weather? The incessant rain?  Let’s hope we both get our mojo back soon:)

you ask how we cope. Well, I usually keep busy, I have family support ( but am aware that all four of our children are working their socks off and have their own difficulties, responsibilities), tell myself that at least my husband is still here, use this forum, …. Generally this all works 

take care of yourself:)

Hi WW,

Yes, wives and partners are more than allowed down days. As the others said, you help so many people with your wise posts and practical tips. I am lucky that my hubby so far he is still full of doing although the fatigue take its toll. I am very unlucky that his PC is not curable and the HT is for ever. And sometimes I read other posts and people says only another few months and the HT is over. And this take me real down because we do not want the HT to be over ever. This is his main tool to stay alive. 

Saying all this, you are doing wonderful and you deserve a break and maybe a holiday by yourself with a friend or a family member away from all the PC and other health issues. 

Lots of hugs

Danfa

Hi Dafna. - hugs gratefully received and returned! I managed to crawl out of bed this pm. Still ‘wobbly’ but regaining a bit of perspective. Trying to be positive. Hopefully I will get some sleep tonight!

Hi Worriedwife you certainly are due an off day and more,I’d be lost without my Wife and she also does most of the caring for my Mum who has Alzheimer’s she took early retirement to look after her and me as I suffer from RA as well as Prostate Cancer so can’t do as much for my Mum as I would like,you’s are all Angels who go above and beyond,so you take time out as your health matters just as much xx

Hi Dafna

It's me wishing to get off the HT - personally It's getting to me BUT I know it's my prescribed treatment and I will stick it out for another 9 months.

I know Jacob is incurable - however - keep the faith - as things develop and his PSA drops -being held down by the HT - if his figures remain low, in the future it may well be possible to ask the oncologist for an "HT holiday" where he can stop the HT and keep an eye on his PSA - if it starts to rise again, back on HT.

We do have another forum Jacob might wish to join (he doesn't have to) but the link is here:

Living with incurable cancer forum - patients only 

Sometimes talking to others with the same prognosis can help. - Just a thought.

Best wishes to you both - Brian. 

I'm feeling exactly the same, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer just over 2 years ago and although he's responding brilliantly to treatment his moods are all over the place and I'm so exhausted trying to remain upbeat and keep him going.

I feel like the kids and I are totally alone in it. Family have been no help and I've tried so many different places for counselling. 

I desperately want to help him but feel like I'm bring crushed by it all emotionally

Hello Dorothy 68  I am so sorry to read your post - there is help available first off let me make 2 suggestions:

* Are you aware of "Maggie's" this is a cancer charity with plenty of local centres. They offer advice, a chat, a cup of tea and practical help. You can just drop in and they are for the whole family - to find your local Maggie's here's the link - https://www.maggies.org/

* Our support line can offer you and the family some help - please ring them on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days) they have some great services for you.

I hope this helps - if I can do anything else for you please let me know.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Worriedwife, having been on both sides of the fence, both carer and cared for, both times with a terminal diagnosis, I couldn't say which is the most difficult but would lean towards being the carer, as you get much more time to do the things you want, switch off or have a sleep when being cared for, whereas being the carer can seem like an all day every day thankless task. You need to think of your own wellbeing, if your not looking after yourself, your ability to care for others will suffer as will your health both physical and mental, you need to give yourself some time every day to do the things you enjoy and make you feel good. As an ex nurse you know this but maybe we just need reminding.

Eddie

Hello Eddie - you are so very right! Thank you for some very sound words! Having had little to no sleep on Tuesday night due to joint pains, I finally woke up with a pounding headache yesterday. I probably felt worse than my husband. I felt at rock bottom and once the tears started they just would not stop. as if the country hadn’t had enough rain!  Anyway, I spent the morning under the duvet. I did get up and do a bit in the afternoon but went to bed early and slept! Ii live to fight another day :) as ever, it has been everyone’s kindness on this forum that got me back onto the straight and narrow . Thank you to everyone ! .

Morning Worriewife nothing wrong with a duvet day, glad your feeling a little better and hope you have something nice planned for yourself today.

Eddie