No Specific Topic

When my father was going through the late stages it was heartbreaking.  I could have a conversation with him as long as he didn't have to remember anything personal.

Some stuff from when he was younger he could recall.

Hello David and Janet David2017 and Worriedwife 

Yes you are so right. The father in law died and the mother in law attended the funeral and we thought that was acceptance but no 2 months down the line she's asking my wife "where's dad?" Then even before she could reply mum would say "Oh yes I remember, he's run off with that floozy".

It got better, every future visit, dad was still "with the floozy" and mum had just returned from some far flung holiday - but we went along with it all as we had peace and tranquility.

Life is strange sometimes!!

Best wishes - Brian.

Okay, to all of you who wrote re dementia, I now have had a confirmed diagnosis of vascular dementia for Richard. The psychiatrist visited today and my carer was present as there had to be another person, and he didn't want me involved. That was fine as I was being a very grown up person in London.

Anyway, now, at least I know what I am dealing with. As a few of you have mentioned, when someone with dementia asks about a person who has passed, it is difficult to know what to do for the best. My mum often asked if dad was coming down for dinner and I would gently say, no don't you remember he died. There was a few seconds of sadness in her face, but then she would say "oh, yes, of course". There is no way I could possibly have lied to her and kept it going. 

She was also convinced my dad had another family and that he was having affairs with the carers. Some of her language actually shocked us all and my daughter, who was eventually her carer, could not believe she even knew that particular sex act, let alone vocalise it to anyone who would listen. 

At least now I can face this awful disease and his confusion knowing there is a reason behind it and not just a cantankerous, argumentative husband who is fond of the booze. 

On a final note, War of the Worlds experience in London was great fun and it was a lovely day out with my daughter, even if the train journey was so cold. Do they not heat trains anymore. I have come to the conclusion I do not like other people much, especially ones who annoy you on trains. I missed my first booked train by 30 seconds but that is another story and got on the next one. There, I sat behind a young girl with St Vitas Dance, if any of you know that phenomena. Well, she kept fidgeting, so I invented a game called "what is that sound". There was a rattly bottle which came out the bag first. Hmmm, what is that I thought. Then a crinkly noise, closely followed by a more paper crumbling one. Then a handkie and a blowing of nose sound. Then we were back to the rattling bottle. I am so easily pleased and I spent quite some time, whilst she constantly fiddled, trying to get a look in the reflection of the window, to ascertain whether I got the prize for guessing. However, rather selfishly, she got off at Luton and then I had a rather tall elderly chap sat right next to me. It was so blooming cold, I actually wished he had sat a bit closer so at least I could benefit from his body heat. Anyway, he didn't and unfortunately he was one of the more senior citizens who nobody has told that you can, actually, turn the blooming sound off the phone keyboard when you type. He tapped away for the rest of the journey and it was like sitting next to a woodpecker. Return was slightly less irritating, although the Polish girl next to me thought it was okay to have a face to face on her phone, can't people just talk, and worse still I couldn't understand a bloody word. How selfish not to have at least spoken in English. However, it did drown out the girl who sat right behind me who typed on her laptop for the whole of the journey but I think by now, I had become desensitised to the sound of woodpeckers!

Anyway, thanks for listening to my drivel. Night, night.

G

Hi Gina, sorry to hear that your worst fears about Richard  have been confirmed but, as you say, you at least have some explanation for his behaviour. I hope that this now means you have access to more support. Let me know if there is anything I can help you with. 

your train journey sounds horrible! At least the train ran! When we were coming back from London last week we got as far as Leicester and they decided to cancel the connection to Melton Mowbray because of a ‘shortage of conductors’. The other three trains we had used on the return trip didn’t have any conductor presence as far as we were aware so why did it suddenly become necessary for the last train!

nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed your day out!

x

Yes, at least it makes sense of his behaviour.  Brings back all the memories of my mum, who had the same . James Burden rang me last night about his Prostap injection and whether he had it, as planned in hospital.  He was furious it wasn't on his discharge notes. We chatted for about 15 mins, what a brilliant doctor we have and such a nice one too. Very much on our side re R's diagnosis and now we should,  at least get some council tax reduction because of it. All helps.

Re the train journey,  it wasn't that bad, just me turning it into a funny story. You have to laugh, don't you!!!?

Gx

Gina, your posts are great.  Love the train journey, especially the "what is that sound".  Have to try that sometime.  Just think what she could have been doing... But that's another theme for a game.

Your posts aren't drivel, they are real life.

Steve's right Gina. (Sidsmum) 

Have you thought about writing a book? i think you would be quite good

Best wishes - Brian

Good morning Gina , 

You now know Richard’s diagnosis . I do hope the medics put in the support you need . There are great reading materials dementiauk.org  which gives you further insight to vascular dementia .  If you call them they will post out a booklet . 

If you need to chat drop me a private message and can possibly signpost you albeit I worked within Scottish Law . I have some knowledge . 

Loved reading about your train journey and this is a way for you to express yourself and gives you some respite . I agree with Brian you should write a book . 

Take care & huge hugs to you both 

Liz & OH  xx

Ha ha, thanks. No time!! x

Just spoken to a local friend who has given me some contacts to help on the dementia side. Many thanks though.

I always try and see the funny side of things and I like making people, hopefully laugh. x