Dad’s Prostate Cancer

Hello Red5 (Red5StandingBy) 

Welcome to the group - although I am so sorry to find you here in the circumstances. To answer your questions:

* As humans we are all terminal - I would need more information regarding dad's diagnosis and treatment to answer this question but he's playing his cards close to his chest. Has he been told there is no more treatment - or has he refused any further treatment? I would think more can be offered but don't have his details.

* Gleason 9 or 10 is an aggressive cancer but with treatment it can be held at bay for a long time. Radiotherapy kills cancer cells - has he had this?

* I am 69 - I still work - it's keeps me occupied and provides extra money above my pensions. He's no doubt using work to cover his worries and anxiety. I would invite him out somewhere and have that chat with him (Neutral ground) and express your worries and see if he can reduce his workload. (I am Self Employed and only work when I want to)..

At the end of the day we are men and most of us are quite stubborn. It took nearly dying for me to realise that life is good - he just needs to understand the anxiety and worry he is causing. 

I hope this helps - it's just my personal ramblings - I am sure others will have other ideas.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Brian,

For whatever reason on initial diagnosis he could not have radiotherapy. He has had 2 rounds of IV chemo with hormone and steroids. He has recently Xmas onwards had ‘chemo tablets’ couldn’t tell you which ones. 

He is saying there is no more preventative treatment they can give him (other than a potential gene specific something or other in Manchester if he’s accepted). 

Probably over sharing now but every chance he could have refused more treatment. Not sure how likely and common this is. 

I understand the work keeps him busy but doesn’t help him spend time with the family.

Not sure if that sheds anymore light on the situation?

Many thanks for taking the time to respond. 

Hello Red5 Red5StandingBy and welcome. We can try and answer some of your questions but they are going to sound a bit vague because we don't have much information.

Terminal - yes officially if you are given a diagnosis which means you cannot be cured it is terminal even if it is treatable - another definition is advanced prostate cancer.

Advanced prostate cancer with spread to the lymph nodes can normally be controlled for many years but there are a multitude of factors which can influence it like the Gleason and 9 or 10 is considered aggressive but it also depends on how the cancer reacts to the different types of treatment and the volume of the lymph node involvement plus where it is. My husband is in a similar situation in that he has had different types of hormone therapy, 3 lots of radiotherapy and chemotherapy but even though his PSA is now on the rise again his oncologist still says he has more tools in the toolbox which might include more chemotherapy of a different type, PARP inhibitors, immunotherapy, targeted radionuclide therapy with Lutetium 177 or Radium 223 (if it goes to the bones) and possible trials. If your dad is not being treated at a centre of excellence then they might not have access to some of the treatments so maybe that is an option for you to get a second opinion at somewhere like the Royal Marsden or Christies. Has your dad misunderstood what he has been told, is it no more treatment full stop or is it no more treatment for now? Also is his PSA stable and what is it at the moment - this can give an indication of what is going on at the moment. What treatment did he have when first diagnosed (radical treatment) and how did the cancer react to it? As you can see there are many questions which can feed into the equation and if your dad doesn't want to share it is going to be difficult to find out exactly what is happening.

At 69 your dad is still young and is obviously fighting which is good and perhaps working is his way of doing this.

I hope this helps a little and please come back if you have more questions.

Hello Red 5 (Red5StandingBy) 

So Radiotherapy is great at killing cancer cells - if he was refused it 4 years ago - things are better now and it's much more targeted - I wonder why it was refused.

"Chemo Tablets" to me sound like one of the new 2nd generation Hormone Therapies - much stronger than the first generation ones.

The Christie and Manchester University have about 5 trials running for new treatments for Advanced Prostate Cancer and it's these he's talking about.

I think that's the best I can do with the information I have - I am sure others will be along.

Can you not be blunt with dad and just say - work is taking over his life and you need more family time - I know it's a hard one - I had to tell my Dad it's time to stop driving - he knew - he just wanted it confirming. 

Best wishes - Brian.