Update on husbands stage 4 chemo diagnosed last Feb 2024

Hello Dudebear 

I am so sorry to read your post, it is one of those situations where there are no words that are appropriate! I really do feel for you both.

I agree with the oncologist that quality of life is important and I think you have both made the correct choice in the circumstances with the Chemotherapy, although I would be looking at the clinical trial.

To help your 3 daughters - here's a link that may help with their families.

Talking to children and teenagers about cancer.

Please do use the group for support - to vent when you want to and if there is any advice you need - we are all here for you.

If I can do anything please do let me know (my message box is open if you don't wish to share on the group). There is also our Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week).

It's OUR Community and you are ONE OF US - we are here for you. 

Kind Regards - Brian.

Thank you xx

Hello Dudebear, I really don’t know the right words to say. I recognise how devastating this news is for you, your husband and your family. It’s so cruel!  I am so very sorry and my heart goes out to you all.

I do hope that your husband can get on the trial and that it is successful.

Might I ask what gene it is? My husband has a high incidence of prostate and breast cancer in his family and had genetic counselling and testing when is was diagnosed in 2022. He tested negative for the brca gene but we were told that there might be cancer causing genes that had not yet been identified. He was advised to retest in about 5 years in case they have discovered other genes.

I hope you do manage the quality time now and can make some lovely family memories. Please remember that we are here for you and will offer you as much support as we can!

hugs xxx

Thank you for your reply, I think deep down, I’ve always known, it’s the look on the oncologist face that says it all

she couldn’t say too much about the gene therapy, only that it was for patients who couldn’t tolerate hormone therapy meds & chemo , once we’ve got more information, I will let you know.

there just aren’t any words & we will make as many precious memories as we can with our lovely family 

first have to tell them all  

we are a very  private family & want to try & carry on to the best of my husbands ability 

xx

I would recommend Brian's thoughts. 

This is a hard thing, and there are no words that help.

You have a family, and friends. You have us. You may feel able to talk to a local Church who are often more supportive than most people imagine. 

God bless you, your husband, and your family.

Hi

As you and others have said, there are no words that can make it better just now.

Please know,.I and this group are holding you all in our thoughts. 

X

Good morning Dudebear  - I am SO sorry to hear this news. As most of our members know, I’m always looking for any positive aspects of a case. However, I never give false hope. In your case, you have shown yourself to be very strong (I know, I know, I can hear you saying “but I’m not”…) - but you have shown this strength in your approach to this latest setback. You’re already talking about making memories for you and your three daughters and their families.  Once the initial shock of the prognosis has passed -and the bad effects of the stronger chemotherapy have subsided-, I feel sure that your dear husband, and their dear dad & grandad, will step up to the plate and live his remaining life to the full. I have seen this reversion to concentrate on family life to be so fulfilling and even extend life in the past (really - my good friend with liver cancer improved so much, we all wondered if he was in remission (of course, he wasn’t) but he and his family packed SO many great memories into that time). Stay with us, too. We’re here for you. I wish you and your lovely family all the very best and I hope you can all come to terms with the situation and start planning those memory filled times as soon as possible.   AW

Thank you for your kind words xx

Thank you xx

Hello Dudebear . This is a difficult conversation to have but one which many of us incurables know is going to come. I am so sorry that the treatment is not working for your husband's type of prostate cancer and quality of life is what matters now for all of you. Life is so unfair but use this time to live positively, make your memories and enjoy it to the full. We are here for any questions or if you just want to vent.

Sending you big hugs.