Confusion

Hello Alan (Al985) 

Your original Gleason (3+4) and T2 diagnosis would be off a minimum of 8 samples taken from a biopsy. Now that the Prostate and various other bits are sat on the lab bench (where they can't do any further damage) some one has had a good look at it and upgraded you to T3 - they may well have upgraded your Gleason Score too - did you ask?

I set off as a T3a Gleason 7 (4+3). when I had my TURP operation the "chips" from my prostate were examined and I was regraded T3a Gleason 9 (5+4).

You should be jumping for joy - the prostate's gone, PSA undetectable and clear margins. Happy days, 

Best wishes - Brian

I haven't had this experience, but can see the possible outcome.

No doubt Prostate Cancer has been filling your mind ever since it became a diagnosis. You had to have a diagnosis, face the treatment and the side effects, and go through the process. 

Now you have met the surgeon after the op and the outcome has been discussed with you. I am guessing all the various bits showed that everything was contained, so you are done and dusted.

There are many different reactions to the end of such a trial. 

One is jumping for joy. Another might be the equivalent of a long and deep sigh, and a turning to face ordinary life again.

I have a disabled daughter, and we got into a conversation a few years ago about how she would feel if medical science could suddenly return her to normal.

She said that, of course, she would take it, but she would be terrified, because she had adapted her life to the disability, and suddenly everything she had come to count on would no longer be necessary.

You may be suffering from something like that. 

For quite a while, you have been living prostate cancer. Now someone has told you that you don't have to

So your life changed, and has now changed again. 

You'll have to get used to that all over again, because it won't be quite the same.

Hi Al985

all sounding very positive and that’s brilliant news for you!

I think I can understand your emotions a bit!

we had a really torrid time going through urology. The last straw was the bone scan!  The specialist nurse rang through with the results - all clear! I cried tears of relief!

when the RT was finished and my husband rang the bell, I felt quite flat! We had struggled so much to get to that point and that had been our main focus for months. Suddenly we had reached that point. We had not thought beyond it! What did we need to d next?!!!  It was a peculiar feeling!

 Have spoken to several people who have struggled at this sort of point. They have used the analogy of taking stabiliser s off your bike and having to pedal alone!

The only thing I can tell you from our own experience was that we booked a holiday, had a fantastic time and then a more normal life clicked back into place! ( but always the elephant in the room - 6 monthly PSA tests and the potential for recurrence! I wish I could kick that one into the long grass!) 

Worriedwife said:

They have used the analogy of taking stabiliser s off your bike and having to p

That is a great quote.

It has been filed in my list of things to say.

To other people, of course.

It is also exactly how I felt when the radiotherapy stopped.

Hi Brian. Gleeson score remains at 7. The confusion, sorry I didn't make it clear, is not about the change in grade, but my total lack of elation at the fantastic news I received

 I almost feel guilty when I read most of the other posts on this forum. Is this normal and will it get better?

Al985

Thanks for your post and the insight. I almost feel guilty when I compare my journey in to most other posts on this forum.

Al985

I'm peddling like mad at the moment but not going too far. At least I have the people on this forum there to pick me up should I  fall off.

Al985

Can’t say anything helpful at this Moment I’m afraid, as I’m a bit behind You. First post op PSA test on Monday 14th, discussion with consultant on the 17th. I’m a mix of positive and terrified. Plan is to have a cozy dinner on the17th, either celebratory or commiserating and planning.

It’s reassuring to know that if I am a mess after the conversation, I’m not alone.

Hope your jumping for joy and elation will kick in soon. That is absolutely fantastic news you have and now real life can start again!

Hi Steve,

It's a bit like when you have passed your driving test.  There's no one in the car with you telling you whether to turn left, right or carry straight on.  You just have to get on with it & make your own decisions.

Best Wishes

Brian

That might not be quite as reassuring as you thought.

It took be six goes to pass my driving test......

So, perhaps it will be left, then right, and then carry straight on until someone asks "What the heck are you doing, this is a one way street?"