Keeping positive

Morning Big Col

Onthink you’ve hit the nail on the head,the word frightens everyone into submission at first then some people don’t want to stand up to it ,I was like that at first when I was giving my diagnosis of positive AKL NSCLC ,I didn’t want to know how long I had but I do now as I want to get on with my life

Great post Big Col but how frustrating to still not know where the blighters are lurking. I was reading an article about Sir Chris Hoy where he said he was given the T4 diagnosis a year ago but he remains positive and grateful for the treatments which have given him extra time with his family. I think we can all echo that. Keep the endorphins going and stay positive - we all have wobbles but overall life is still good for us who are also T4 and diagnosed in 2020. We have decided there is no point to ask 'How long' because, as our oncologist said on Friday - everyone's cancer reacts differently to the types of treatment available, it is just a matter of finding the one that works best for you.

Hi Big Col , I hope you are doing ok, what treatment plan are you on after biochemical recurrence.  I have just had my PET and gone onto Enzalutamide.

I heard on the radio this morning that Sir Chris Hoy has now told the press he has PCa at stage 4.  Obviously, I was very sorry to hear that such a young guy has got it but his announcement will no doubt bring focus to others to get tested early on and for the profile of the disease itself (like Bill Turnbull and Jeff Stenning) have done.  The advances in treatment over the last 10 years have been amazing but we still lack that one that moves treatable to curable, but I am sure it will come.

As for keeping positive, I agree with you that the more positive you are the better your body is able to keep fighting.  I don’t think it is healthy to focus on any particular number of years.  We just don’t know.  What a terminal diagnosis does for you, is focus your mind on what is important in the remaining time we have.  It allows us to do what we can to organise our affairs, tell others what we feel and find out who our real friends are.  Interestingly many of the posts on here refer to the same and is actually a real advantage to us.  When healthy, most of us don’t go through life wondering how long we have got.  I have lost so many friends since my terminal diagnosis who were unaware that they would be gone before me.  None of us know so focus on the living.

I know Brian (Millibob ) often talks about the ‘lurkers’ who view but don’t post, so to those who are going through the shock of getting a diagnosis (curable or treatable), you have my sympathy, but I can assure you it will get better during this journey. Yes it is a roller coaster but there are good times ahead - that’s life!  Stay positive. David

Exactly....I was annoyed  with myself wasted time .At the moment I feel fine  so that's how I am going to approach each day.    Don't dwell on it 

Hy husband has advanced P.C with spread to his bones and one lymph node

The news today has absolutely rocked him to his core.  He now thinks the health professionals are lying through ommission and thinks he is in the same boat. 

He cannot understand why Chris has said he only has 2 to 3 years left when he has the same diagnosis but nobody has said that timescale to him.

It has been a very dark day and I am praying that tomorrow is better and he comes to understand that everyone is different and has different reactions.

I am heartbroken for him.

X

Hi AFLMF.

Good evening I am very sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.

Yes I have also got advanced PC and I was diagnosed in 2023 at the age of 57.

Yes the news is devastating at first but believe me it does get better in time.

When we asked we were given a longer time scale but like you say everyone is different with different reactions.

I was very shocked to hear about Chris on the PC this morning but it goes to show no matter who you are the monster is lurking.

Please please keep your chin up as we are all here for you!!!!!

Prostate Worrier 

Evening Prostate Warrior 

I was also given an advanced staged 4 NONSCLC ALK Pos diagnose after Prostate Cancer in March, I remain positive although I had a bijou earlier today Robert

Every one of us is different. 

We have different bodies, genes, mental outlooks, and families. 

I am not Chris Hoy. He is not old and fat.

He is under 50 and quite often people diagnosed at a younger age have a rockier time of it. 

I was diagnosed in the early part of the normal timeframe. 

We none of us know if he has any medical conditions that may preclude type of treatment. 

I don't think anyone can predict a time of death, and, even if they could, that prediction would be for them and not me.

We should be sorry for, and support Chris Hoy if he comes our way. 

Whatever is said to him is not about us. 

Our journey and battle is our own, and we can only lift each other, which what this group does so well.

Hi Amanda. I hope today is a better day for you both. Being positive is good but we are all allowed our down days and when someone as high profile as Chris Hoy comes bouncing onto the screens looking and acting so well it makes us think of our own circumstances and how we are doing. It is usually only the loved ones who understand what is really going on with their partners and bear the brunt of the ups and downs. I inwardly seethe when I am told I am so strong but I have no option to be otherwise - this is the face I put on most of the time but the only other people who really understand what it is like are those who are going through it which is why we can express ourselves freely on the forum and get the support we need.

There was a good blog on here a year ago on toxic positivity and how to deal with it which I have linked to.

 When good intentions hurt: Exploring Toxic positivity and conversations about cancer 

Dear Alwayshope  and all the other partners on here, who keep me and mine going, just by reading your posts.

You are STRONG. It just just doesn't feel like that inside.

Sometimes it is good to remember that true strength is not obviously dealing with everything thrown at you, but taking a deep breath and then carrying on regardless.

I want to shoot the person who came up with the phrase "Keep Calm and Carry On". My life has been more of "Panic first, then carry on."

This was certainly the case being diagnosed with Prostate Cancer.

So, for all those who are partners, who support and care, and disguise your own fears and pains to encourage thank you. Without you the number of me who lead good lives with the illness would be much reduced.

Thank you.

God bless you.

Steve