Newly Diagnosed. Upset, angry and terrified

It can take a little while to find the right tablets which suit you. With my husband it took three different ones, which work in different ways, to come up with the one best for him. See if you can manage without any but don't be afraid to ask for a different one if you need it.

HElla John, I. was initially prescribed Prozac and had never before and have never since experienced such a dreadful headache. I thought I was having a stroke! Then I had increased anxiety and palpitations with sertraline - thought I was having a heart attack! They eventually found a drug I could tolerate.

I am no mental health practitioner so can’t advise you on how your symptoms should be managed, I’m afraid. But, I would advise, if you are feeling so poorly with depression and anxiety, that you should be talking to the medical professionals. Mental health difficulties are as much an illness as the prostate cancer.

I do understand that being given any sort of diagnosis can come as a life jolt. It unsettles how we see ourselves, our identity, how others might see us, our old certainties, our awareness that we are not invincible, our plans and hopes for the future….. our everything! Our world literally turns upside down! , With our lives seemingly swinging out of control - any and all emotional reactions are to be expected…and permitted 

once we were passed on from urology to oncology and received proper , timely and professional care with a treatment plan, things began to settle for us - just as others here have experienced. Reading others posts and their very kind and thoughtful and considerate replies to my distress really helped. They also taught me a lot about PC! They also got me to laugh again and able to see that we could still live worthwhile and fulfilled lives!

You will get through this difficult time just as you may have got through previous difficulties in your life.

i am wondering if you have a partner, family member or close friend who you can rely on for some support as you work your way through this?

just hang on in there and let us all know how you are doing, please?

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For me, Sertraline worked well. It didn't for you.

Many people find that meditation helps I didn't.

As was explained to me, we all have this "fight or flight" response to sudden danger, and this qualifies. You are pumped full of hormones ready to either fight or run away, and you can't, in this case, do either.

Your mind feels like the inside of a washing machine, and that affects everything you do.

It does pass, but eventually.

The steps you can take yourself come up as first aid mainly.

I will mention what works for me, and you can see if any of it works for you.

• Deep breathing. If you have a smart phone, there is a free app called Breathe which is available for both Android and Apple systems. This will take you through something called "Box Breathing", which designed to take the edge off anxiety really quickly.
• Exercise - specifically walking in my case. Others work dependent on your particular state of health. It uses up the stress hormones. If your body feels better, you will feel better.
• Talk to people - family, partner, friends. As an example, since I was diagnosed I have found 7 other men local to me wither the same illness. 3 of them are in my Church. Talking to other people who have the same illness, but who are still out and about, was hugely helpful.
• Spirituality - you will see from the above that I go to Church and I identify as a Christian. Since my diagnosis I have become more active in personally working out what I actually believe. The process has made me stronger in no ays I did not foresee.
• Offer help to other people - a big paradox in my life. The more down I feel, the more I try and help other people. Nothing especially altruistic there, because I get hugely positive emotions from just being a helping hand.

I don't know if any of these will help you. You may have to find your own.

Thank you MSTEV2 for your kind reply and steps advice. It’s much appreciated. I have started the walking (working out) and working with a councillor specifically meditating (working in). The walking will 100% help, going to try the meditation, we shall see. I am also working on my breathing. Mornings are the worst when my anxiety is worst. Nothing in life feels joyful anymore. I’m on autopilot. I pray daily it will pass or at least get better. I pray for all people on this forum, sufferers both with PC and their partners. I need to decide on a treatment plan but my headspace isn’t in the right place.

Hi WW. You and others have always taken the time to reply to my posts. I have found people on here so supportive. Thank you. I have replied to MSTEV2 with an update on where I am emotionally. I was wondering if you know of anyone on this forum that decided I the RT/HT route and had positive outcomes. I have been in contact with Alpine W, he’s on that path. I suppose I’m looking for any positives good stories for that pathway. Thank you again 

Good morning John - it is a good morning because my husband had EBRT to the whole of the pelvic area four years ago which was, and still is, successful. His spread was a lot further than yours, including the lymph nodes. To date he has no bowel or bladder issues apart from occasional night time leak when he is stressed. He has distant metastases which requires intermittent treatment but this is separate from the pelvic area.

Hello John

there are many stories on here about successes in the treatment of prostate cancer - both by surgery and the RT/HT pathway. There are others who have not had the luxury of being treated ‘ with the intention to cure’ and more with the ‘intention to treat’. A lot of these people have been treated successfully for many years. I’m sure a lot of them will be able to give you a lot of hope and encouragement. Also - look at the stories of some famous people - Stephen Fry, Rod Stewart, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Ian McKellann- Nelson Mandela, Roger Moore, to name but a few. You are in good company!!! ( Yes, I know there have been a few famous deaths - Bill Turnbull. - and deaths from other causes - old age but we all have that fare awaiting us)

As for the support you have been offered here - I agree, there are some wonderful people, complete strangers, who reached out to me when I was so distressed. I think each and everyone of us has appreciated that and, once we have reached a better place emotionally , we try to give back to others following on behind us in this journey which we would have wanted to avoid.

for the time being, you are in a blackhole but we are all reaching out to you pull you out of it and help you to see that there is a lot of life to be enjoyed even with or after PC. 

i have just come in from my beloved garden. Last nights rain has played havoc with some of my blooms. Bur, the dousing of rain has permitted me to plant out some seedlings. I think we can take a lot from nature - don’t you? I also think I must be of peasant stock! The muckier I get thehappier I feel!

Hi John,

I am currently on the RT/HT path, I'm in the middle of the journey (RT completed, 2.5 more years of HT) and the outcome so far is positive, the PSA is low at 0.14 and I have no permanent bowel or bladder issues. 

Hope this helps

Great words of wisdom as always .love your garden 

Liz & OH XX

JPMJIG said:

I was wondering if you know of anyone on this forum that decided I the RT/HT route and had positive outcomes.

Hi JPMJIG ,

I was diagnosed nearly six years ago as Gleason 9, T3A N0 M0 with a PSA of 11 (risen to 15 by the time treatment started). I had three years of Prostap injections with 20 sessions of RT in February and March 2018.

I had my last Prostap injection in June 2021 and was on six-monthly PSA tests until this June. I have now moved on to annual tests and for the last two years it has been stable at 0.2.

I will be 77 in a couple of weeks and walk 30-40 miles every month, swim a mile twice a week and go rowing twice a week.

I hope that helps.