Coming home from hospital

Hi Jane, from your description he sounds to be very poorly but just can’t accept it.  My suggestion would be to do whatever you feel you are capable of doing.  Don’t kill yourself but also don’t have any regrets in years to come.  I hope the palliative care nurse is able to give you help and support.  Good luck,  David

Hello Jane

I'm sorry to hear of your husband's deteriorating health.  I hope you are getting support for your own needs and also with the practical side of things - such as hospital bed, pressure relieving equipment (to stop bed sores), etc if he is unable to be up and about?  I think your local social services and, possibly, hospice movement, might be able to help you both more?

It's a really difficult time for you and your family but the main thing should be to keep your husband comfortable and you supported.

I will be thinking of you x

Hello Jane xx  I am so sorry to read of your husband's cancer issues. It's a difficult time, a couple of ideas are:

* You should contact our support line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) speak to them regarding your husband's condition and ask what practical help and advice they can give you to help support him at home.

* I know you are a member of our forum and we are happy to give our help regarding his Prostate Cancer, have you considered joining the Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum . You can do this by clicking on the link I have provided. I am sure if you have any questions the forum members there who have the same or similar issues can offer advice.

If I can do anything else for you please let me know.

Kind Regards  -  Brian.

Hello Jane.
So sorry to hear your situation. From a practical perspective, your husband should not be discharged unless all is in place to ensure you can both manage safely and at the same time ensure you have precious time together without you being absolutely exhausted. The staff should ensure you have:

-hospital bed with appropriate pressure relieving mattress & topper. Alternatively a repose mattress to put on the bed you have. A hospital bed can be height altered as well as being able to sit up electronically and other features.

- other aids such as commode and frame to help him out of bed if able.
- pads should these be required if unable to control bowels.

- a care package to address personal care- washing, bed changing etc at least twice day.

- hospice at home contact information and support.

- information about Marie Curie to support you and him overnight occasionally 

- district nursing package / assessment in relation to syringe driver  / other medication and pressure monitoring.

these are just the practical things they should put in place as the last thing you both need is ending up back in hospital for whatever reason. 

-at home - you may need to move things around but there should be a home assessment to help advise you.

I truly hope that the services kick in for you both and that you both feel safe and supported. You look after you too-We are all here for you too and even in the darkest hours of night - you will probably get some practical advice and a virtual hug. 
big hugs xxx

Hi Jane

No one is ever the same, he’s had it rough I can understand him wanting to be in the comfort of his own home, I don’t think he knows the stress it will put on you, I suppose he will be having a visit from the mobile nurse a few times a week, if not I would certainly ask about that. His movement will not be as was, he may feel a little embarrassed. My wife and carer has had eight years of going through assorted things and I can say she is a marvel, as all the ladies and family are helping us incurables so my thoughts go with you both.

Stay safe

Joe