Late night ramblings

Have you been getting in trouble Pepys? I guess some people were just born rule breakers.

Your last post has just really made me laugh. When I’m feeling mean about my replacement I imagine her having to stand on a box to cook dinner in my beautiful x kitchen. As both my x and I are tall we had it made with high work surfaces and she’s only 5ft. 

Sorry I’ve no advice on the haemorrhoids why don’t you give your Macmillan nurse a call xx

Yes indeed. There has been a bit of a ‘to do’. Quite upsetting really. I couldn’t make head nor tail out of it but hopefully after some sensible admin action things have settled. The incurables group is extremely busy right now and rather different in character from the pancreatic cancer group. I did volunteer to keep my posts contained as not everybody comes on here to read about my antics. 

My blood boils to hear about HER cooking in YOUR kitchen! Nerve! 

I never wanted to be Mrs van Alphen anyway. Sounds like a breakfast cereal. 

Pepys xx

Oh Kate,

I went and spoke to the pharmacist in Boots about my hellish haemorrhoids. She let me ramble on for some  considerable time before telling me they had nothing other than what I already had. An elderly lady nearby turned around and listened quite openly so I racked up the volume...’Yes, I’m finding the insertion of the suppositories quite AGONISING.’ My friend was laughing helplessly in the background as she’d never seen anyone so openly nosey!

No real luck on the piles front but a brisk walk on the seafront then lunch was super. And I bought a gorgeous turquoise kimono, which made me think of Granny Grace. I discussed with my friend how I’m still buying lots of stuff even though I’m terminally ill. I wondered if she thought it strange. But she said she’d think it strange if I didn’t.

Pepys xx

Pepys

Can’t see anything strange about you buying stuff. My mantra is that if I want it and can afford it I have it! Apart from clothes I love books. Three turned up today that I’d ordered.

My husband had the pile problem too. He found the medicated wipes helped. I’ll need to look up the name if you aren’t familiar with them.

Squeaky

Hi Squeaky,

Well, I suppose I’ve heard people with terminal illnesses say they don’t buy things for themselves..winter coats, travel season tickets etc. Doesn’t seem right to me. I love clothes, perfume, books etc. Get very excited when my books arrive!

Pepys xx

And Squeaky, the wipes are ‘Preparation H’. Grim! Managed to get some today.

Pepys xx

Well that sounds like quite a day! How fabulous to be by the sea on a sunny day like today and then shopping and lunch with a friend, perfect.

I'm with Squeaky on the shopping front, if I like something I go for it.  My mum has gone totally the other way since her diagnosis whenever I suggest she treats herself she says no that will be a waste of money I wont get the use out of it.  It drives me mad as she deserves to have some treats.  I think its after her time in Tanzania. A few years ago I treated myself to some ridiculously expensive shoes and she went mad as she was fundraising to buy all the children in a local school a pair of shoes The cost for over 40 children was less than my 1 pair.  I did then very guiltily make a significant donation.

I love the fact you had a nosey shopper in boots, I hope she cringed a little when she realised you were on to her.

It doesn't bother me about the little dutch woman anymore.  It was devastating at the time but now it's a distant memory.  I always say be carefull what you wish for, she wished for my life and got it, I now have a far more fun life and answer to no one. I do worry that I'm turning into a bit of a mad old cat lady that enjoys her gin and wine a little too much but hey ho xx

Dear Kate,

I’m lucky to live where I do and it’s spectacular at the moment. It’s been a great day and I’m very happy with my beautiful kimono and my new close-cropped hair. 

You tell your mum she needs and deserves those treats. I was just thinking about last year when my brother was here and we went to the cinema. He wanted to buy me an annual ticket and I refused, arguing I wouldn’t live long enough to get full use out of it. My lovely brother, who has looked after me my whole life! I saw the flicker of pain in his eyes and deeply regretted my smart-Alec response. Sometimes I need to just zip it!

Yes, nosey shopper was amazingly upfront. Mind you, I’m a snoop too, I’m a bit more subtle than her though!

Terribly tired this evening from quite long walk. No bad thing though.

I’ve really had to cut back my alcohol since my secondaries diagnosis because my liver is really damaged by my pancreatic tumour. Otherwise I would live on Margaritas, g&t and good wine. I haven’t given up though, that would be a step too far. And unnecessary. Life should be sweet. The Dutchman was beautiful but didn’t drink, nagged about my drinking, cycled everywhere in compression socks...I love men’s company but I also love being single. I’m definitely aiming to be Granny Grace. 

Pepys xx

My x Dutchman was also t total, he just drank copious amounts of coffee and also nagged me about my wine consumption. Looking back we really were not well suited. After living there for a couple of years I flatly refused to ever get on a bike again after falling into yet another dyke.

Sea air and exercise, perfect recipe for a good night sleep.  I hope the insomnia gives you a break tonight.  Sleep well x

Oh this is such a lovely thread! I'm off to waste money getting my hair coloured but I'll write more later. Splodge and Pepys you have made me cry a little bit with your lovely thoughts.

Squeaky (the name my husband called his cat Florence, because of how she miaowed)