Hi everyone,
I’m really scared and struggling with health anxiety right now. I’m waiting for investigations but my symptoms and history are making me worry about something serious like pancreatic cancer.
Medical history / background:
Smoked since age 17
Heavy alcohol use from 24–29 (vodka daily at times, often vomiting or passing out)
History of pica (eating disorder), including eating paper from age 20 until last year
Known vitamin D and iron deficiency
IBS diagnosed, multiple colonoscopies in the past, occasional rectal bleeding
Pregnancy complicated by B12 and iron deficiency
False positive autoimmune/syphilis flag during pregnancy
C-section delivery, required 2 blood transfusions, was jaundiced briefly after birth
Significant stress history
One episode of faecal incontinence last month
I also had a recent overdose episode involving alcohol and escitalopram. I was checked in A&E afterwards:
Blood tests done
Liver function tests normal
Troponin and ECG normal
Chest X-ray normal
Physical examination clear
I was told it may be stomach-related and possibly anxiety-related. Endoscopy was mentioned but not done.
Current symptoms (ongoing and worsening over the past month):
Brain fog and confusion
Left shoulder pain
Chest pain radiating into arms/armpit
Rib pain (both sides, sometimes shifting)
Shortness of breath at night / difficulty breathing when lying down
Fatigue and weakness
Night sweats
Lightheadedness
Loss of appetite / not enjoying food
Feeling of impending doom
Difficulty getting comfortable
Urgent need to open bowels after eating
Stool changes (light brown colour, mucus, sometimes constipation, sometimes urgent)
Occasional unusual stool consistency
General feeling of being unwell and “not right”
Current medical follow-up:
GP has ordered stool tests and tumour markers
Abdominal ultrasound booked in about a month
GP mentioned possible gallstones or bile duct issues
Advised to go to hospital urgently if jaundice develops
Family history:
Both grandmothers died of cancer
One had pancreatic cancer
One had uterine cancer
Family history of cardiac issues
What I’m worried about:
I’m terrified these symptoms could be pancreatic cancer, especially given the family history, alcohol history, and ongoing digestive symptoms. I’m finding it hard to function while waiting for tests and I’m constantly anxious.
If anyone has experienced anything similar or has any advice on what helped them cope while waiting for results, I would really appreciate hearing from you.
I have a beautiful 3 month old son who I love with all my heart and I'm currently looking at future care if this turns out to be cancer. I'm very scared so much so I've been planning my funeral and reaching out to people.
Thank you for reading.
Hello Jade532222
My name is Steph, I'm part of the team who look after the Online Community here at Macmillan.
My I wish you another warm welcome to the Community, although I am sorry that you've arrived feeling so scared and struggling with health anxiety. We're here to support you whilst you go through further tests.
It sounds like you're being referred for all the tests you need to find out what’s going on for you. Have you spoken to your GP or another healthcare professional about your anxiety and fear? There may be some further support they can offer to help you through this difficult time.
You mentioned health anxiety. The NHS has this information about health anxiety that might be helpful to keep on hand.
Please make sure you use trusted sources of information when you're looking for information about cancer. Macmillan has this information when you’re feeling worried about cancer that might also be helpful to have a read through.
Please do keep chatting on the Community if it helps to be able to share your fears. I'd encourage you to join our Cancer Chat forum where you can find lots of members to chat with day or night. We have a dedicated 'Awake and up all night' thread for anyone having trouble sleeping and needing support in the late hours. You would be very welcome to introduce yourself there, so you know you have someone to talk to anytime.
We also have a Macmillan Support Line if you would like to talk things through with someone who is there to listen. Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.
Please do let us know if you have any questions or need further support with anything at all. I hope the Community helps to show you that you don’t have to go through this alone.
