Scared

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Hi, I am in my early 40s and been advised I probably have ovarian cancer. I have large mass on each ovary and lesions on the abdomen. I am due to have surgery at the end of the month, a full hystRunnerctomy. I am so scared about what the future holds and feel so in limbo. I will need to wait until after the surgery to see what stage it is. I am so scared as all I seem to see is not very positiRunnerthings. I probably should not have googled but felt like I was in denial by not looking into things. I have a great family and friends but I am not feeling up to seeing my friends for some reason. I am very petite so also worried that my body won’t handle the chemo treatment. I am trying to put on weight but it’s hard. I am so worried but still pushing myself to eat. I have a teenage daughter and I have not told her as yet. I thought it best to wait and see what the treatment plan would be. Has anyone else had lesions on the abdomen? I felt quite rushed in my appt with the surgeon/gyno and they just said they can’t tell me much until after the op. I am really struggling with it all. 

  • Hi , I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Being scared is completely understandable, your world has been turned upside down. Googling I think is something most of us do and usually leaves us feeling more scared. Much of the information is outdated too which doesn’t help. There are many new treatments with successful outcomes. If you are googling, stick to this site or charity sites such as ovacome or target ovarian cancer which are specific to ovarian cancer. These sites also offer information about talking with children and family about which maybe helpful. All have helpline support numbers to call to talk things through. When I was first diagnosed I had no appetite and didn’t want to go anywhere. Not knowing is the scariest , once you know for sure what the diagnosis is and the treatment plan is does get better. I was terrified about chemo and it was much easier to cope with than I expected. I was diagnosed in January my cancer was throughout my abdomen and I now no evidence of disease. It’s been tough but doable. I’m planning holidays too. For now try to stay in the present , I know mindfulness is not for everyone but I found this really helpful in the early days, still do. You will find strength you never knew you had before. There is a lot of support out there, you are not alone. Be kind to yourself. Xxx

  • Thank you for responding, this has helped me xx 

  • Hello Horizon

    I am so sorry that you are going through this - what an awful time it must be for you.  I can still recall (distinctly) every detail of my conversations with my GP prior to being referred for surgery - its just so shocking, that it just stays with you.  But, and its a big but, every day you will get a little less scared.  You will start to feel in control a bit more as you will be having surgery and then they will discuss any further treatment you may be offered.      You will get loads of support from your MacMillan nurse - find out who your point of contact is.   You have the MacMillan helpline also; and if you go over to Facebook, there are a few groups on there for OC - I have felt lots of hope by listening to others stories of hope and recovery on there.   I didn't google until after my surgery as I was too terrified and as Sem says - most of the data is out of date and there are lots of new treatments and approaches.   Please try (hard as it may be) to just take things one step at a time, refuse to think beyond the surgery - just focus on getting through that, be kind to yourself, rest and make sure you stay connected to  'you'.  Still try to do at least one or two things that you like to do every day.x

  • Thank you for replying. I will try and take each day as it comes. I appreciate you replying too.