Scared

Hi , I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Being scared is completely understandable, your world has been turned upside down. Googling I think is something most of us do and usually leaves us feeling more scared. Much of the information is outdated too which doesn’t help. There are many new treatments with successful outcomes. If you are googling, stick to this site or charity sites such as ovacome or target ovarian cancer which are specific to ovarian cancer. These sites also offer information about talking with children and family about which maybe helpful. All have helpline support numbers to call to talk things through. When I was first diagnosed I had no appetite and didn’t want to go anywhere. Not knowing is the scariest , once you know for sure what the diagnosis is and the treatment plan is does get better. I was terrified about chemo and it was much easier to cope with than I expected. I was diagnosed in January my cancer was throughout my abdomen and I now no evidence of disease. It’s been tough but doable. I’m planning holidays too. For now try to stay in the present , I know mindfulness is not for everyone but I found this really helpful in the early days, still do. You will find strength you never knew you had before. There is a lot of support out there, you are not alone. Be kind to yourself. Xxx

Thank you for responding, this has helped me xx 

Hello Horizon

I am so sorry that you are going through this - what an awful time it must be for you.  I can still recall (distinctly) every detail of my conversations with my GP prior to being referred for surgery - its just so shocking, that it just stays with you.  But, and its a big but, every day you will get a little less scared.  You will start to feel in control a bit more as you will be having surgery and then they will discuss any further treatment you may be offered.      You will get loads of support from your MacMillan nurse - find out who your point of contact is.   You have the MacMillan helpline also; and if you go over to Facebook, there are a few groups on there for OC - I have felt lots of hope by listening to others stories of hope and recovery on there.   I didn't google until after my surgery as I was too terrified and as Sem says - most of the data is out of date and there are lots of new treatments and approaches.   Please try (hard as it may be) to just take things one step at a time, refuse to think beyond the surgery - just focus on getting through that, be kind to yourself, rest and make sure you stay connected to  'you'.  Still try to do at least one or two things that you like to do every day.x

Thank you for replying. I will try and take each day as it comes. I appreciate you replying too. 

Hi horizon,

you have had an enormous shock, which really does take a while to get you head around…try to deal with what you actually know… your going to have a full hysterectomy,so deal with that first… your oncology team don’t know any further than that at the moment but they have your plan and take each step at a time… deal with what you know, so get prepared for the hysterectomy…mind and body needs to be in the best possible place for the first step of your plan… post operation will be tough for the first few weeks, you are going to need help so try and put that in place…. When you feel able to talk to your daughter, she will take the lead from you… I know it’s incredibly hard at the present to have a positive mind set, but if it helps 3 years ago I had a full hysterectomy, a 17 x 9 cm mass was removed , stage 1 c …had 6 months of chemotherapy and have been clear of since . Of course your on a rollercoaster of emotions, there are good days/ bad days and it’s a true battle , dig deep and deal with your treatment plan in small steps, best of luck xx

Thank you for replying and glad to hear a positive outcome for you. I hope my journey will have a positive outcome too.