My mind

Hi again ShazzE, and sorry you’re having such a tough time .

Sadly, everything you’re experiencing is normal on this journey we all find ourselves on. Trying to keep busy and fill your time/mind with other things can help sometimes, but with something so big in your life to deal with, a “quiet mind” is likely to be impossible most of the time I’m afraid.

As we’re all individuals we obviously handle things in our own different ways, and for me I find it helps sometimes to write things down, separate those questions that somebody else could answer for me (which I’ll note down to ask later) from those that I must accept will never be answered (like when did I first have the cancer? Could I have prevented it? Did I miss some earlier signs?, etc). Then I try to focus on controlling and conquering whatever things I can to make me feel I’m moving forward in some way (however small).

Others I’ve heard find meditation, mindfulness and breathing techniques bring them calm - but not something I’ve tried myself. 

I hope you’re able to find some techniques that work for you - and don’t be too tough on yourself.

Love Bx

Thank you again for your advice I appreciate it so much x

Hi ShazzE.  as B.positive says, I guess this is 'normal' for us given what we're trying to come to terms with.  I consider myself a strong person but have been struggling so much with this new situation, even a year on from my initial diagnosis.  Have you spoken to Macmillan?  They have put me in touch with a local counsellor for a few sessions.  It really does help talking it through with someone who understands but can be objective.  When it's all getting on top of me, she has encouraged me to try and put it all in a mental box until our next session.  That way I can acknowledge the thoughts/fears etc but not get into the 'washing machine' cycle of going round and round with it all. (much easier said than done sometimes, but i'm trying!) 

  I would encourage you to speak to your nurses and/or call Macmillan direct to see if there's someone you can talk to.  

Good luck, and remember this forum is always here for you!

E x