End of life mesothelioma

Hi Emwy. I'm so pleased the Covid restrictions have lifted enabling you to visit your Father-in-law in Australia but I'm sorry to hear he's just on palliative care, as am I though with a different cancer.

It might be a good idea to join our Supporting someone with incurable cancer  group (Just click on the link I've created and join - copy and paste this post in a new thread) where I'm sure you'll find some helpful answers.

Sending hugs, my family are only 200 miles away but it seems like the other side of the world, B xx 

Thanks so much for your reply, I’ll join the group. Sorry to hear about your cancer too…stay strong x

Hi Emwy, 

My Dad was diagnosed in April 21. He had chemotherapy initially but that wasn’t successful so he tried immunotherapy. The first 2 rounds proved successful, but following another scan they noticed that cancer had grown again so that was stopped in October 21. He was then on palliative care until he passed away in February this year. It was very sudden, he deteriorated very quickly in the last 2 weeks. My Dad was always very positive too, willing to try anything they offered him.

I wish you as much time as possible with your father in law. 

xx 

Thank you so much for your reply. Things seem to be done so differently in Australia and we don’t totally feel like we know what stage he is at. To be told his kidneys are failing and he has a matter of weeks, we all rushed to be with him and he’s picked up so much off chemotherapy that he’s now acting like he will live forever. It’s helpful to know it was quite sudden at the end. My husband has come back to the UK with us as he’s been is Australia for so long now that he needed to return to work and be here for our daughter but feel a bit in limbo about when he should return. I hope we have enough notice to get a flight and get him there for the end.

Do you mind me asking, was it the cancer or the effects of the cancer treatment that sadly caused your dad to pass? We’ve been told it’ll be his kidneys as they are too damaged, his kidney markers on his tests are terrible.

thanks again and so sorry for your loss. 

Emma

Hi Emma, 

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. 
We were told in November that the cancer had spread to his liver, that’s when all treatment was stopped as it was no longer containing the cancer. 
In January he was suffering with a blood clot, it was decided that surgery wasn’t appropriate so he was put on blood thinners, no little effect. On his interim death certificate (because it has to go to an inquest here) it states Mesothelioma as the main cause with thromboembolic disease also listed. 
It was all very quick in the end for us, my Dad went in to the hospital with the hope of being stabilised to return home for end of life care but unfortunately it just didn’t happen, they were unwilling to discharge him without a care package but couldn’t put one in place either. He wasn’t in any pain in the end and he was conscious and able to communicate with us up until a few days before he passed, and then it was like he was sleeping until he stopped breathing. Very peaceful. 

I do feel for you and your family, I was local to my Dad but still found it hard trying to juggle normality for my girls and be there whenever I could.

Wishing you lots of time to make more memories together.

xx