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Hi everyone, I’ve been stage 4 for 3.5 years. Initially I had melanoma to stage 3 in 2011/12 treated with surgeries. I went 10 years clear but in May 2022 went into hospital with spreads to nearly every bone, muscle and organ in my body. 3 tumours were destroying the left ventricle in my heart but a combination of surgery (3 brain, 2 heart) and treatments (targeted and immuno) has got me to NED. I would say I’ve been upbeat in the main as survival was the only option as a young husband and father of 3 children. But since NED and fI am treatment in August I’ve gone off the cliff with depression and want my old life back. Has anyone experienced this? I’m getting help but I feel other patients will understand better. X

latchbrook 19 days ago

Hi JordyM60dcc5 and a very warm welcome to the group which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

That's great to read that you're NED but it sounds like you've been through an awful lot so I can understand you feeling that you just want your old life back.

I haven't had the same experience as you but I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet so responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.

Sending ((hugs)) your way

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

JJP 11 days ago

Hello,

You have been through so much. You could be 'reframe' the rollercoaster that you have survived! That's an incredible achievement, it sounds as if you defied all the odds! However this doesnt change the threat hanging over you everyday, and that doesn't go away. The guilt of inflicting this on your nearest and dearest is hard. The worry and the heaviness of it all, even when you are in the clear.

Speaking as a woman who's husband is going through treatment and looks to only have a few months left all I can say is remember how much you are loved by those around you, who have stood by your side this whole time. It may not be a case of moving on or even feeling better at this stage but trying to accept this is a part of you but doesn't define you.

Share your feelings with your partner and try and find the tiny joys in each day. Your children's laugh, a beautiful morning, a wonderful cup of coffee. I know its so easy to say it. Wishing you all the best.

JJP

JordyM60dcc5 11 days ago in reply to latchbrook

Thank you for responding and the good wishes. Nice to finally join a community where we all understand what we are going through. NED is a great point in the road for sure and just need to find a way to adapt my brain for the next challenge of survival! Big hugs back

JordyM60dcc5 11 days ago in reply to JJP

This is beautifully written, thank you, and wonderful advice. It’s weird, I know everything you said is true and much of the fight to get here stems from it. I’m just finding it very hard to accept where I am and my life is different now than it was before. I’m different, my career is different and going back isn’t an option.

You’re right though, what I have round me is a joy and so I need to be absorbed back into it. My children give me utter joy.

I’m thinking of you and your husband and based on your message, I’m sure he is very well supported and you get important time together. If you / he ever wants any patient advice on treatment etc then please let me know, I’ve pretty much had everything done to me.

my best wishes

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