People telling you, you should think yourself lucky because... or stop making me feel guilty because....

Redlis said:

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It’s so hard isn’t it, it’s very traumatic. Especially if like me you have been lucky enough to never have had an op or stitches before. My husband thinks I’m over reacting to my diagnosis  and thinks I shouldn’t be worried about going out in the sun where as I feel like I need to be indoors all the time. You can only know what this feels like if you have been through it.

my melanoma was on my forearm and during the healing process I wore an elastic bandage to support it and to remind myself and others to be careful, could you wear something to help support your scar site? Hope you get the help you need to get through this. X

Hi my mole was on my stomach, I currently have about an 7cm scar, which with the WLE will be 11 cm scar, however because people can't see it they don't think about it. I was told that I was unable to do any strenuous exercise for 4 weeks, then take it easy for another 2 weeks. I enjoy dancing and cycling and my husband thought after 4 weeks that's it I would be back to normal cycling and dancing and is finding it hard to accept that I still feel tired and don't feel up to doing these things. As far as he is concerned the doctor has said I am allowed to do them therefore I should be doing them,

I wonder why you are tired? Is it emotional stress. Perhaps you need to talk to a Dr about that. I don’t remember feeling tired with mine but I did feel emotionally battered. But all that aside, if that’s what you are feeling, you are! 
My husband tried to jolly me along which has the opposite effect. I wonder if that’s what your husband is doing? I think it is quite a scare for them too and they want us to be the person we were before so that they have us back and can move on but it’s not that simple. It’s a worrying time for them too. 

I use to cycle at least 30 miles, three times a week, go to rock and roll dance lessons twice a week and also go to rock and roll dos at the weekend, where we could be dancing for 3 + hours. I've not done any of that for the last 5 weeks. Also because the mole was on my stomach it was a good two weeks before I could start to walk any distance without it pulling and being painful, so basically it's only the last couple of weeks I have been able to do any form of exercise and still trying to build up my stamina. However I think Ian thought after 4 weeks I would be back to full health and would be able to go dancing for a couple of hours without feeling tired or go for a 30 mile ride. It's not so much feeling tired, it's more not having the stamina to keep going.

Ah I understand. I used to do Rick and roll too, I liked the 49s music and clothes, I know how energetic that can bee, definitely not good for a recovering scar on your tummy and of course you will have lost your puff over the last few months. It will take a while to get it back but you will.  X