Hi I had a mole removed in January came back stage 1a melanoma , I was terrified , I’m 32 and have kids and so scared for the future. I’m really not coping and tremble and shake in fear everyday. Iv been told prognosis is very good but I’m so scared of getting more or it coming back. I feel my life will be shortened. Has anyone had this stage few years down the line even decades down the line had this and been fine. I feel guilty for feeling like this.
Hi Penny2022 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
First of all there is no reason that you should feel guilty about being frightened because you have been diagnosed with melanoma. Are you feeling like this because friends and family are trying to make light of your diagnosis?
We all worry about recurrence but as you say that "I’m really not coping and tremble and shake in fear everyday" then I wonder if you've spoken to your GP as s/he should be able to help you.
I was diagnosed Stage 2a 5 years ago now and I can tell you that eventually you'll find that melanoma isn't the first thing on your mind when you wake up in the morning or the last thing on your mind when you go to bed. I won't pretend that the thought of recurrence didn't worry me too but with time I learned to concentrate on the now and stop worrying about something that might never happen.
You should have been given advice on how to protect your skin to prevent future melanomas but if not let me know and I'll let you know what I was told.
I had a look at your profile before replying to see if you'd had the follow up wide local excision (WLE) and optional sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB) but you haven't completed it yet. When you have a minute it would be great if you could pop something about your diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending a virtual ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Thankyou Adele b.
you sound so positive which is what I should be feeling and doing.
How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?
and your location of the melanoma.
mine was upper back, I would never of known but for some reason I looked at my back in the mirror after a shower and noticed a mole was bigger in the middle. Tuned out the dermatologist weren’t worried about that one but above it was a black funny shaped mole which was the melanoma. Makes me feel numb that it wasn’t that one I was looking at .
hope all goes ok with you. Happy to keep in touch.
Thanks for doing your profile Penny2022, it's great.
I think unless you've had cancer you just don't understand how it affects you hence people telling you to "be positive" or "move on". They don't understand how you feel and the worries that you have, which is why this community is great. You'll never get anyone here telling you to "be positive" or ask "what are you worrying about, the cancer's been removed".
I'm glad to hear that you are shortly to have some help with your mental health. Macmillan are currently offering free specialist counselling in partnership with Bupa. You can read about it by clicking here.
It's also great to hear that your WLE came back clear and, as you didn't need a SLNB, it sounds like your melanoma was caught really early.
I too had similar thoughts to you about life expectancy. I was diagnosed just a few weeks before Christmas and remember sitting at home with the decorations up thinking 'will this be my last Christmas'. I've just looked on the Cancer Research website at their survival statistics and you are in the age range that has the highest survival rate (97% of women aged between 15-39 will be alive 5 years later).
Like you, I'm a very moley person so my consultant got me to take photos of the different parts of my body, ie upper left arm, lower right, leg, upper back, etc so that I can use them to compare my body against when I do my monthly check. Without these photos I'd find it very hard to know if something was new or had changed.
I don't think you'll find anyone here who doesn't have the occasional wobble and worry that there might still be melanoma in our body so please don't think there's anything wrong with you thinking like that.
Come on here at any time to ask questions or have a bit of a rant. We'll all understand as we've all been where you are at some point.
(((hugs)))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Thanks latchbrook just talking to you has made me feel better , even though Iv never met you it helps talking to people going through similar things even though it’s not the nicest thing to talk about.
I hope I can look back at this in years to come and I’m a stronger person .
the statistics are reassuring but it’s so horrible to think of survival rate for yourself I find it hard to take , does that sound weird. At first I thought it meant I would only be here 5 years.
have a good evening and Thankyou so much
I'm really glad I've helped and I'm sure you'll look back in the future and realise what a strong person you were to come through this.
Ha, ha - yes, I nearly put that the 5 year statistics don't mean that you'll only live 5 years but just that they've only recorded/reported them for 5 years.
I hope you have a good evening too.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Yes when I read that on the website and my skin specialist reassured me , as im guessing that’s the follow up time for patients.
thanks again
Hi, I’m 55, fit and healthy. My mole was on my left forearm. I noticed it had changed during covid. Was a total shock that it was cancer. 
Oh really so glad you got it seen to..covid times aswell is delaying so much even now. I waited 7 weeks for the wle I’m sure that’s not normal to wait , Iv nown two people who had there’s in days or weeks, that’s 7 weeks was the worst wait. Wishing you all the best
