Good morning all.
First time here, sorry this is so long winded.
I have had a mole of some sort up on the middle / top of my inner thigh and it was not at the back but near the back, so i did not know it was there, it could have been there years and i would not have known about it.
Doing the math's and looking at our past abroad holidays and taking into account when we were not allowed out of the country due to covid by my reckoning it has been there between 3 to 5 years.
In the end when i did see it i thought my god what is that.
I don't work outside and i don't use sunbeds, no family history of Melanoma as I know of either, I do wear shorts a lot but this mark what ever it is would have been under my shorts nearly all the time.
It was a flattish mark to start off with and in the end i went to my GP and he said it is nothing to worry about, a few weeks later i had to go to the GPs again about something else and i asked a different doctor to take a look and he also said it was nothing to worry about.
Moving forward approx a couple more years and the this mole thing had got bigger like a dome shape and it was now crusty on the top.
When i showed it my doctor again he said it looked like a Seborrheic Keratosis or something along those lines, but he put me on a referral for a dermatology test which he said would be about 2 weeks.
In those 2 weeks whilst waiting for my appointment i was on holiday in Lanzarote with my family, we had a lovely time, my appetite was good, (in fact too good). i was so happy and all was right with the world.
I got a call from the hospital whilst we were away asking me to come in for my appointment on the 12th September 2023.
We arrived home on the 9th September and i was still in a good buoyant mood even though we had to come home.
I went for my appointment on the 12th September and the dermatologist said she was concerned, but said it could be a funny mole still and did the biopsy that day, so now i am waiting for my results back (i could tell by her face she knew what it was)
After me thinking it was just going to be a normal Seborrheic Keratosis as my doctor said it looked like, but now looks like it will be defiantly Melanoma my world has fallen apart and especially having it for so long, i fear the end is very very near.
So from coming off our holidays on the 9th September and having a lovely wonderful time, then going to the dermatologist on the 12th September it now feels like i am literally staring death in the face.
My appetite is all over the show, my sleep is all over the show, I feel unwell all the time, and i read all the things on the internet which tells me it is defiantly defiantly Melanoma.
I keep feeling my lymph nodes all the time as well which I am sure have swollen since having my appointment.
Also i can not believe that this is the end and all I think about is dying and leaving my family. I don't look forward to the anything anymore as i am sure that i wont be here to see the things me and my family have planned.
It is now 2 weeks since I had my biopsy and still waiting for the bad news to come to me at anytime.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest as I don't want to talk to my wife about it as i know I wont be around very soon and I will only get upset.
I am so so scared.
Thank you.
Simon
Hi Grinch and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
It's natural to worry when you're waiting for the results of a biopsy and to expect the worst and I think the easiest way for me to address your worries is to work my way through your post.
It's great that you've had the biopsy so quickly but although you said that "I could tell by her face she knew what it was" it's impossible for anyone to know whether you have melanoma or not just by looking at your mole.
Many moles have melanoma like characteristics but just turn out to be atypical moles. I've had 2 moles removed. The first one the dermatologist thought was nothing to worry about and it turned out to be melanoma, whilst the second one the dermatologist thought might be a melanoma was an atypical mole!
As I've said it's natural to fear the worst and you've said "I fear the end is very very near". However, even if you have melanoma you don't need to fear that the end is near. I was diagnosed 7 years ago and I'm still here 
Please stop googling as you'll only read the sensational stories on google and not the thousands of ones where a mole doesn't turn out to be melanoma or where people are treated for melanoma and go on to live happy lives!
You say that you're "feeling your lymph nodes all the time" and that you're "sure they have swollen". Please stop feeling them as constant prodding can make them swell.
It can be very hard waiting for results so my best advice would be to occupy yourself doing things that you like so that you spend less time worrying about the 'what ifs'. You might find this information on how to ease worry when waiting for medical test results useful to have a look through.
Please feel free to ask any questions you want here, rather than trying to find the answers on google, and remember this really isn't the end!
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Simon
The length of time to get back to you with your results is exactly the same whether it's good news or bad news. It all depends on how busy the pathology laboratories are in your area of the country. What timescale were you given?
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
If they told you two weeks, and that time is up, you could give the number you should have been given a call to find out if your results are back. If they are back, the person you speak to probably won't be allowed to tell you the results but they should be able to tell you when you can expect to get them and how. Different hospitals have different protocols with some giving you a face-to-face appointment whilst others will send a letter or arrange a telephone appointment.
I'll be keeping everything crossed that it's just an atypical mole.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
A 4-6 week wait for your biopsy results is, unfortunately, a realistic average wait time but do follow their advice and call back next week if you haven't heard anything.
I know it's easy to say but try to 'park' the worry. Years ago someone here told me that "worrying won't change the outcome but it will ruin the present" and I try to live by that when I'm waiting for results.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
