I'm so bewildered! My Mum was recently told that she has a shadow on her lung and a tumour that has spread to her liver. She has been a smoker for more years than I can recall. She's now on palliative care at home with carers four times a day. Sometimes a Marie Curie nurse will stay overnight. Mum is weak and cannot control her bladder or bowel. She can barely stand to use the commode and to her horror I've had to help her use it. I just don't know how long she has got. I asked the doctor and they said that she won't be here in five years and couldn't tell me how long she had. I checked Mum's medical notes and saw it said she had months to live. I just want to be there at the end but live some distance away which makes it so hard. I've been travelling back and forth on the trains and stayed overnight in hotels and it's just getting so expensive which is a worry too. I'm so tired and have no family support at all. I feel that I can't cope and that I'm going to collapse with the strain of it all.
Hi Mermaidz45 welcome to the group, but I am so sorry to hear about your mum. This must be heartbreaking for you to see her like this. It really is a matter of how long is a piece of string, no one can say how long anyone has left.
It must be so hard for you not living close. It is so hard to get a balance between home life and caring for a loved one. Can I suggest you join the Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum where you can connect with others who are in a similar situation to yourself. You can also talk to someone on the MacMillan support line on 0808 808 00 00 who are available 7 days a week from 8am until 8pm.
