Lung cancer diagnosis horror

Hi Steve. 
I know how you’re feeling. We’re going through the similar. 
my mum has a phobia of hospitals and drs but we’ve managed to get some bloods done and a chest xray. Her bloods revealed damaged to her liver and the xray revealed a 2cm shadow on her lung. My mum is in pain but had shut down and insisted she didn’t want to further anything. 
at the drs guess hers has possibly metastatic but she’s refusing a ct scan, biopsies everything. 
All I had from her GP was to let her know if her breathing gets worse and nothing about the pain. 
this hasn’t sat right with me since. I don’t have much support. I’ve asked that her gp calls me today because we need a treatment plan somehow. 

your absolutely doing the right thing and I would highly recommend you call Macmillian and have a good vent. They are wonderful. I called them yesterday, took their advice and told my mum she cannot possibly think this is not happening and we need to help her. This in turn actually made a difference and when my uncle called her last night she actually told him what was going on with her so in my eyes this is a positive step as she’s now reaching out. So I’m praying with support we can move my mum forward with lots of reassurance and get her the support she needs. 

So hard for you. It’s a struggle.

im a psychotherapist and lecturer and the emotional drain is huge currently. 

mum was of the view initially that she didn’t want to know anything. Her way of coping, but her gp has been amazing and advised her she will be more in control if she’s given all the information sensitively and she can make her own decisions.

fortunately our family are behind her and have told her we will support any decision she makes once she has time to process all information.

sounds like your mum is terrified. You hear the word cancer and ‘spread’ and your life ends before it’s even started the cancer journey. 

then coming on here, there’s the realisation that this is only the start and that there are many many options for treatment, even if cancer isn’t curable. Many people surviving for a long time with stage 4.

maybe slowly slowly, this can be shared with your mum, even if she still decides not to go any further with investigations. 

would be good to keep in touch x

Also, my mums mental attitude is very positive. The new consultant and lung cancer specialist nurse have told her this is really important to maintain moving forward.

shes continuing with her charity shop volunteering and she’s organising Christmas and family birthdays, telling everyone ‘we must keep on as normal as we can’. 

ever the pragmatist, she’s saying we all need to be rested and ready for treatment as we’re on the journey together. 

her mantra is ‘whatever will be will be’. 

Hi

This is exactly how my Mom was "diagnosed" about 6 weeks ago. A trip to a and e due to stomach pain. 12 hours later after numerous scans she was told there were tumors on the lungs and kidney and it was incurable. She was kept waiting until the end of the day because of the gravity of the news. Then sent home without any support, information or pain medication. Since then it ahs been a rollercoaster and we have been back to a and e 6 times. Whilst you are aware that a cancer diagnosis is a shocking experience the whole journey so far has been far more difficult than we could ever have imagined. Hope you get some support and answers.

Wow. Yes, I was for many years a specialist nurse and also a nurse lecturer. One of the things I ensured in my teams and my students, was person centred care - having the person at the centre of their journey and leading the way. Sadly, I see more and more of this not happening these days. It’s so sad and the impact on individuals and families is immeasurable. 

all we can do now, is ensure that mums voice is absolutely heard, even when faced with these difficult conversations. We truly believe in being open and having difficult conversations. 

sadly, Dad died of motor neurone disease nearly 3 years ago, so as a family, we’re still grieving his loss. 

this forum is amazing. It’s been so helpful since I joined yesterday