Needed to tell someone what’s happening to my wife and just share the experience…
My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer may 2022 …. It’s also in her lymph nodes , spine , bone marrow , hip and lots of lumps …so straight away into palliative care ….at the time it was the end of the world but she is a very brave woman and just got on with things ( I was in pieces ) I stopped work to be at home with her and do whatever needed doing .
She has had 1 round of radiotherapy on her spine ( they thought she was going to be paralysed) and 7 lots of chemotherapy and immunotherapy that seems to have squashed the cancer for now but the side effects have been pretty serious. She has liver , thyroid and pancreas issues and suffered kidney failure…..(nearly started dialysis but her kidneys have started to get a bit better now ) the latest is that her stomach is constantly upset so we are now seeing a gastroenterologist…. It’s seems to be never ending but I’m just happy that even though she’s terminally ill she still has a really good quality of life and is in no pain , so I consider us lucky , which has got to be the strangest but truest statement ever …… we both know that she can never be treated for her cancer again as her kidneys won’t be able to take it so we are just almost pretending that nothing is wrong and just trying to carry on with our normal lives as much as possible even though our world could come crashing down at anytime …..the only thing that I’m struggling with is the fact that she can be a little bit moody / angry with me and really forgetful ( normal married life maybe 
) … ..but if that’s all I’ve got to put up with long may it continue and as long as she’s around to tell me off I’m quite happy …..
Anyway my point is I think that when you first get the diagnosis your world ends and you can’t help but have these awful feelings but eventually you realise that everyone is different and how they react to each treatment is also different ….so you just have to except it and just try to keep moving forward and try and deal with whatever this awful sickness throws at you … my wife’s favourite saying is that she’s not dying of cancer but living with cancer …
stay strong everybody and keep fighting the fight …..
I was also very angry with the world ….. but soon realised that being angry just made things a lot worse ….im a firm believer that my wife’s positive mental attitude to her illness only helps and the more I can do to make her life as happy and stress / pain free as possible the better ….my wife is only 63 and I’m also hoping that she’s around for a lot more years 
going on this journey has made me a lot more tolerant and accepting of other people ….. because you never know why someone behaves the way they do as they could be going thru the same things we are ….. in some ways having this illness hanging over us means we try to make the most of every day , which is something that doesn’t normally happen as our lives are so busy …
anyway stay strong and keep making your husband laugh ….
And rambling is never a problem …..it’s difficult to put down all these feelings in text ….
Your wife’s a very brave lady and a fighter and I think that’s half the battle,I feel guilty replying as I’m just starting my Prostate cancer journey and mine’s caught early,I felt the same why me if it’s not enough having RA,but I will fight all the way,sending 
️ to all your family,and this forums a godsend xxx
There’s no rhyme or reason to this horrible disease and the more you talk to people the more you realise that there’s always hope ….my wife has lived over her 2 year prognosis and is doing well and living a good life ….in fact I’ve had man flu for the last few days ( and we know how bad that is 
) and she’s been looking after me ….all very surreal….
I went thru all those emotions at the start and still do now and again but that’s ok as long as she stays as active and happy as she is I can deal with it all ….stay strong and keep smiling ….and send our love and best to your mum ….
