I thought the pain under my left brest was a broken rib. Good old Dr google. Anyway after 4 weeks of the pain not going away I went to my GP on Monday who sent me to hospital as he was concerned it may be a pulmonary embolism. An xray showed an area of concern and a furthe CT scan showed a 32mm tumour they suspect is malignant. I had a further scan of my abdomen and it was clear luckily.
I am 65 and have mild COPD. Yes I am a smoker. I feel so guilty for smoking. I tried so many times to stop. Im waiting now to hear what happens next i know they discuss cases each week at MDT meetings but im so worried that because of my age and smoking and COPD that they won't try as hard to help me
I know i have quite a wait now to find out what it is and will need a bronchosopy to do a biopsy but that's all I know
For me this will be the 2nd time. 33 years ago I had ovarian cancer which after surgery and horrendous chemo they managed to eradicate it
One day recently I got myself in such a panic I called one of the helplines and had a chat with one of the nurses. Take any support that you can. It’s a challenging time and all the support is really calming. Also try the Roy Castle Lung Cancer website. I use both.
The first weeks after initial diagnosis I spent a number of hours watching TV box sets as a distraction. IMO, it’s good to keep your mind busy on anything that will help to stem your anxiety growing. I’ve used sleep hypnosis on UTube and this has really helped as well. I try to have cancer free days and generally limit my time spent on forums. It’s a good idea to stay away from Dr Google, however your GP might be able to give you some short term antidepressants to help you relax or sleeping medication. My GP said to call if I needed any support.
Other things that could help your general health is to have a rainbow (Mediterranean) diet and just walking daily to give your body an easy workout. Currently I’m taking walks daily and doing some upper body exercises to improve my breathing and upper body strength in preparation for the lobectomy.
Try to limit the what ifs as well. I’ve only been chatting about what I currently know and my current concerns and avoid reading posts about further treatments. Just one step at a time.
I wish you all the best and I’d offer private messages if you need to unload but I’m not sure if it can be done on this site. It can certainly happen on the Roy Castle site. My user name is different there but I expect I could find you if you use the same name.
Take heart. There are quite a few of us having similar experiences. 
Smoking was always my go to thing every time I felt anxious or stressed and if I’m super honest it still quite easily could be. I’ve been very cross with myself as well, finding myself back on the smoking without thinking. It’s so much easier to start than to stop. Please be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, after all the news you’ve had isn’t the best in the world. Try gathering yourself together, tell yourself you can do it, imagine doing it, how much better everything smells and tastes and how much easier it is to breathe. If you feel like it, start by just telling yourself you can and believe in yourself. Every day is new and positive thoughts very helpful.
I’ve very much needed chemical support over the years and that’s why I always have the gum. It keeps my mouth occupied and keeps me off the dreaded weed. It’s not a very good habit but better than puffing away. (I did check with my GP and she suggested ordinary gum now but I haven’t got there yet).
Sending you love and understanding xx 
Awe thank you 
I'm not sur if I'm even doing this online forum chat,as iv never been great with technology, 
