Dad diagnosed couple of weeks ago

Hi, Welcome to the group. I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, it sounds as though his positive attitude is amazing. I don't have any information about how aggressive each sort is, I can only go on my personal experience. Some members of the group update their profile with their cancer experience and can be accessed by clicking on the circle next to their name (think mine is is the default Macmillan coffee cup like yours). I have updated mine to reflect my diagnosis of Stage 4 NSCLC in 2016 and what's happened since. Each profile sees different twists and turns, and I find it very helpful. 

Ask any questions and there'll be someone in the group that can help or support 

Hi Purple02 and welcome to the group, but I am sorry to hear about your Dad.  I am sorry that your Dad has been told that the cancer is incurable, but this does not mean it is not treatable. There are lots of us here that are in this category.  The good news is your Dad has been offered Chemo and immunotherapy. As you mentioned already, everyone is different, so it is impossible to say how your Dad will get along with this treatment, but his oncology team will be offering him this treatment with the idea of getting his condition stable. For many of us that are incurable, stable is what we hope for. 

It is very scary when a family member receives a cancer diagnoses, and the fear of what is ahead, but talking to others who are in a similar situation to yourself does help you through this difficult time. There are 3 diffierent support forums on the community you can join.

Family and friends 

Carers only

supporting someone with incurable cancer group

Take care 

Thank you both for your replies. Just read your profiles, and  found both inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing. Already I feel better for the wording you choose to use. Instead of incurable, stable, and instead of battling, living with. I guess I just need to know that there is still some hope, and still time. Although I’m grown, with my own husband and kids, Im extremely close to my mum and dad and rarely go a day without seeing them. Now with this coming to light and covid, all visiting and small things like a hug from them has stopped and we’re just down to phone calls, this in itself is getting me down, let alone the thought that my dad is now taking this on and I can’t be there physically to be a support. I worry about my mum. I worry about my dad, I’m a worrier in general and an over thinker. Very grateful for any support received from here, and for people sharing their stories for me to read. Thank you. 

Positively we are nearing the end of lockdown and hopefully you get the opportunity to meet and talk with them them very soon.

Hi Purple02

it’s such a scary time, I know, and I do feel for you. 

I had my right upper lobe removed April last year, with a section of the middle lobe and three lymph nodes. This was followed by 4 cycles of chemo. 

if you ask, they will tell you if it’s small cell or non small cell. Mine was non small cell. You can also ask why it’s inoperable, if you want to know. I was given so much written information it was too much to take in, and I ended up in such a haze. 

I was told that if ever I want a face-to-face appointment with my oncologist to discuss my case and my options, I can request this at any time. I found that I didn’t know what questions to ask.

You don’t say whether you accompanied your father for his appointments, and of course you need his agreement. If you can accompany him you might like to ask: Is it sclc or nsclc? what is the difference? Why is it inoperable? What are treatment options and how do they work?

Perhaps your father is trying to protect you by not telling you everything, so if that’s the case, explain to him that it’s more scary not knowing, than knowing. It’s a lot for him to get his head around, as it is for you, and he will be worried about you, as well as himself. 

I wish I could say something more encouraging, but there are so many variables it’s impossible to predict what works in terms of treatment, as each case is individual. But there are survivors of lung cancer, so try not to despair, no matter how hard it is. 

Hi, our family has just been told that my dad aged 74 has stage 3 inoperable lung cancer.  The cancer has appeared in both lungs and his lymph nodes and as you described it's a very worrying time.  Also it seems we're all doing the worrying for my dad as he's just staying positive and carrying on with normal life while we're falling apart.  My dad hasn't yet met his oncology team yet as the diagnosis is in early stages but as you, it's a lot of information to take in.  As a family we've avoided asking the questions how long is life expectancy (I think because we don't want to face it yet) but everything seems to be in slow motion at the moment because we just want to know what treatments are available as in the back of our minds we do want to know dad's life expectancy and the best way we can support him.  I think this group will help my mum a lot as she's a worrier at the best of times and I think it there's somewhere she can go to for support and information it would help us all as a family a lot.  Wishing all the best for you and your family, I completely understand how you're feeling.. :)

Hi purple02 i too was diagnosed a couple of weeks with small cell lung cancer im starting chemo next week my oncologist was amazing my daughter came with me and was allowed to record the consultation which is very helpful so much information to take in helpful for other family members have plenty of questions and ask them they will answer them even the ones you dont want to hear i wish your dad and your family the best in your journey i too am staying positive i have my moments when im alone but try to remain positive this group is amazibg for support big hugs too you and your family xkitty69