Hello everyone,
Hopefully someone out there could give me some advice on my family's current situation.
My Father was diagnosed with lung cancer just before lock down. Because of his age (83) we were told that treatment wasn't an option and to prepare ourselves for the inevitable. We were coping well as a family and we managed to move my parents to a property very close to where i live. Around May time Dad started to become confused and has got progressively worse ever since to the point now where he is extremely confused and carries out repetitive behavior constantly. At one point he became very aggressive with everyone particularly the care team. His medication was adjusted and he became more settled. We are told that this is rare for lung cancer patients but the dementia is being caused by the cancer. His confusion is at a point now where he is almost delusional. The strange thing is though he knows who we all are and can recall family occasions.
To add to our predicament, my Mother who is his primary carer collapsed last week and we have discovered it is almost certain she has late stage breast cancer. We are waiting for confirmation of the results from a bone scan on and will probably be told on Christmas eve. She is exhausted and needs to be taken care of as well. I don't know what the next steps are yet and if there will be any treatment for her.
We have carers 4 times a day and night care 4 times a week for my Dad but my mum cannot cope and cannot be left on her own to care for him. At the moment myself, my wife, my Brother and sister in law are filling in the gaps but long term I'm not sure we can sustain it. I'm not sure what other options we have, I really don't want either of them to go into a care home or hospice.
We have been in contact with the macmillan care team and they have been great but recently we have struggled to get any support due to the strain on the services and the impact of covid. We are truly grateful for all of the support we have received so far.
If anyone could give me some practical advice on anything myself and my family would really appreciate it.
Hi needsomehelp, I am so sorry you and your parents are going through this awful time. You and your family must be exhausted. I have just noticed that you have had a very helpful reply from one of the community champs, in the new to the community post, in case you haven’t seen it.
Take care
