Hello!

Hello

I'm so very sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis, and the day before Christmas.  Was the word "terminal" used, or incurable, there is a difference.  Treatments these days are fantastic, so please, you and your mum don't give up hope until she has seen the Oncologist.  There will be a cancer team involved in your mum's care, they are a multidisciplinary team (MDT) who will get together and decide on what is the best treatment for your mum, so when your mum sees the Oncologist, the MDT will have already taken place and he/she will explain everything.

Very best wishes to you and your mum - please keep in touch, we are all here to help.  I found this forum helped me when I was diagnosed with lung cancer two year's ago. 

Ann 

Hello, and so sorry for all of you. Is it possible for you to go with your Mum to her appointment? It’s always good to have two pairs of ears and she might find your support a great help. If you go take a notebook and pen. They may give you info about diet as well as negotiating life, whatever that may bring. You are very welcome here and I hope you will receive lots of help and support

With love

Hi Jasper

Happy to join you on your journey, My 75 y/o dad got his initial diagnosis on New years eve, Had lots of investigations done already and still in this waiting phase. 

Sorry to hear your mum is being delayed with oncology, Its such a worry and upset. 

Happy to chat if you like? I might need an ear aswell throughout this xxx

Keep yourself well 

Thank you all so much, you're kind words and support have been amazing already. 

Bit of an update, Mum seems to be going down hill quickly, struggling to breathe, no energy etc. Still no update from oncology and i had to speak to 4 different people yesterday, only to be told that her GP should be pushing the referral? She was diagnosed in hospital so doesn't make sense to me. 

Anyway, Drs have given a push for her, however it has gone to St Richards hospice rather than the oncology team, is this normal? Do they know something more than us and they are putting her on end of life already?

Hello Jasper, 

Does your Mum know something that she doesn’t want to share with you for fear of upsetting you? Maybe you could talk to one of the MacMillan nurses here about your situation? It does strike me as unusual that the hospital has referred you back to her GP. Perhaps the GP would be able to make things clearer although they have a duty of confidentiality.

It may be time to bite the bullet and see if your Mum will talk to you.  I hope you find some sort of resolution as the not knowing is probably the worst place to be.

With love Daisy

Thank you Daisy, I’ve asked her earlier and she said she’s being very open with me. I can tell from her face and the way she’s acting that she’s being truthful with me. She’s even putting people on loud speaker when they phone so I can hear. I just fear they are not going to give her any treatment. 

she’s got an appointment on Monday with the thoracic (something like that) team and I’m going with her so going to try and get answers out of them but just fearing the worst at the moment. 

And sorry for the confusion but I am female in case anyone was wondering, just used an alias name. Don’t know what difference it makes but thought I would mention it

Hello again, 

If you are going with your Mum I think you will have some answers. There are treatments that can be given and hopefully something available for your Mum.

I’ll be thinking of you on Monday. My heart goes out to you both,

With love, Daisy 

By the way, thank you for clarifying the name thing. What a frightening time for both of you.

Love xx

Just a quick update for you all. I had to take mum in to an and e yesterday because her fingers and toes were blue and her skin was grey in colour. Her oxygen had dropped to 64%

She’s got an infection and blood clots on her lungs. They’ve also confirmed that the cancer is in her lymph nodes so has travelled more than we thought. She can’t have any cancer treatment until she’s fought the infection but the dr said she is worried about her. It’s not looking promising but she’s still got some fight left in her so fingers crossed  the oncologist will be coming to see her soon so hopefully we get a clearer picture.

That could not have been easy for either of you. I hope they manage to help her fight the infection and she is improved very soon.

Love Daisy