I'm not a depressed guy.....wait, I am depressed so I'm a Not depressed guy that's depressed and a liar. This is not starting like I'd hoped. Anyway, Surgeon took all my right lung and too much of the stump and I've been everywhere, including MD Anderson and will be making a go at a place in New York. Me, a card carrying redneck from rural Oklahoma, drew some bad cards but at least it was the last hands. That's not ok...but it kinda is. God and I are buds, I have a great wife and lived a super life. Our only daughter died several years ago so it's just the wife and I so there lies the rub. When I hurt I have to play like things are great. I would rather die of horrible pain than see her go through any pain herself. She will be lost without me and I know it. Can't tell my close friends because they will rat me out to my wife because they think she should know.
I am proud that I didn't take any pain pills today. YEA! Not that I need them. Really I was just checking to make sure I'm not addicted and I'm not. I only take when I desperately need them and that seems to be a lot lately. I think I just like to take the pills so today I checked. Of course there's pain but I can handle that. It's not earth shaking pain and it's not there 24/7. Odds on bet is no sleep tonight but that's still ok. I have some stuff to work on for my assistants that will be taking over when I retire or.....the other thing....Ha. Don't get me wrong. I'm not nuts but don't see any reason to be whiney. The depressed thing is rarely and I'll keep it that way. Just need a place to vent like I'm doing now. I doubt anyone will read this and that's ok. I'm also feeling guilty because so many more of you are going through much worse than I. I pray for you all and those that tend to your needs particularly your families that suffer with you.
Anyway, it's been cold here in Oklahoma today but I intend to walk a mile and do some restoration of a WWII Mosin Nagant rifle for a friend of mine. I like doing it as a hobby and I don't charge. Heck, I'd probably pay someone to let me do it.
Have a great day to everyone and whomever. Bless and keep you strong
Allen
Well you were wrong there Allen, because that’s at least 2 of us that have read your post now.
And what a great post it is. First you made me smile with your title. I’m a walking hormonal hot water bottle on my treatment, so I know what a home grown sauna is all about.
I love your positive attitude. Nothing is going to stop you from enjoying what you love doing. But what struck me most was the love for your wife, and wanting to protect her. God bless you both, you warned my heart on this cold wet morning here in the uk. It is ok to admit at times that you are not ok. And this platform is great to do just that. So come rant away, we are listening, even when you think we are not.
Have a great day.
