Hello,
Mum is due to finish 4 weeks of Radiotheraphy for lung cancer on Friday, she is exhausted and sleeping most of the time but other than that has been lucky with side effects thus far - loss of appetite, cough and sore tongue. We are very fortunate and certainly thankful.
The issue is that the house that is two doors away from her (semi detatached house), they have started building works on the outside of the property, this has left her with no peace and continues all day long. She is extremly stressed and upset and is not able ot rest and recouperate, I can feel her blood pressure go up as I type. She lives on her own.
I fully understand the Covid 19 guidelines but have been supporting mum with shopping, housework and dropping her to appointments - all distanced and precautioned, however, she has just asked me if she can come and stay with myself and husband. We live in a 3 bed house, 2 bathroom, lounge, dining room etc. I would be able to prepare her room and assign a bathroom to her, during the day I work from the lounge and my husband is out working outside on his own on his various jobs (socially distanced). Obviously it is considered illegal for her to come to our house, however, given she is at such a crucial stage of treatment and recovery - rest and recouperation is vital - therefore I am going to have to overcome my anxiety, breach the rules and provide what she needs. I am comfortable this is the right (and only option) that we have.
She called me earlier to say that she had arranged for her sister to collect her from ours next Tuesday and take her back to her house an hour and a half away. I am not at all comfortable with this suggestion, the main thing is that her and her husband have been seeing their grandkids and children, I'm not even sure if they practise distancing??? (grrrr). I'm terrified that the kids will have passed something on to my Aunt/Uncle and they aren't yet showing. Let alone that this again is illegal.
I'm trying really hard to make the right decision, follow the rules, abide the law but I must ensure mum is looked after. Do I really drum home that it isn't a good idea to add the second household visit which would last a number of days, am I being reasonable in my efforts to bring mum to ours, should she stay at home and endure hours of noise and stress.
Ohhhhhhh, I don't know what to do for the best. I'd really appreciate your thoughts and considerations with this quandry - my stress has shot through the roof. I am normally the most cautious, law abiding, rule following citizen you'll find so it all really goes against the grain. Should I just go with mum's wishes on both staying here and at my aunts or do my best to talk her out of it. She really can't stay at home for me state of mind, let alone the dust etc that may be created in the air.
Sorry a bit of long quandry that one, thanks x
Hi caz
My heart really went to you when I read your post. What an awful situation you have found yourself in. I had radiotherapy, and I can fully understand your poor mum wanting the peace and quiet to rest. I completely agree with Marie and I think she has given you good advice. If this was my mum I would have her come stay with me, but then I would make sure she stayed with me until she was ready to go home. I don’t think a 2nd move is advisable in the current situation. The thing about radiotherapy is once treatment has stopped, it still continues to work and the side effects can continue for weeks after the treatment has finished.
Good luck on whatever choice you make, and I wish your mum well.
