Hello, my 70 year old father is currently living abroad in Turkey. Last week he was diagnosed quite unexpectedly with metastatic lung cancer, which has spread to his liver and adrenal glands. He has been advised to attend another hospital and receive further scans and a biopsy. At first he was willing to continue down the path of further tests with a view to having a biopsy and arming himself with information about treatment.
Today, after discovering he would need to attend a hospital very far from where he lives at great expense he called to say he and his wife had decided not to go for further scans and therefore decline any possible treatment. He understands from the sole oncology consultation he has had that he will likely not survive longer than 6 months.
Whilst we want to support him in any decision he and his wife make, I want to ensure it's an informed decision but need advice as to how to approach this. He seems set on not going for the scans and discussions of treatment, he feels it is almost inevitable that this will lead down a path of needless uncomfortable lengthy journeys to hospital, lots of expense and chemotherapy that could make him ill for little gain. He does not want to return to the UK for treatment either.
Should we accept this as it is or seek to continue presenting the options and encouraging treatment at the cost of jeopardising our relationship if we're seen as disagreeing with him? Is there a resource anywhere that uses available data to present life expectancy according to varying levels of treatment with this particular cancer?
Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.
Hi _Taz what an awful situation to find yourself in. It must be very hard that you are so far away.
It is very difficult when someone chooses not to have treatment but family members think they should go down the treatment route. It can fracture relationships, when time with that person is very precious.
There are different types of lung cancer, and no 2 people are the same. Much of the information that is available on google is very out dated. Unfortunately the only person who can give you any information about life expectancy will be your Dad’s oncology team.
If you need to talk to someone the Macmillan support line is available 7 days a week from 8am til 8pm on 0808 808 00 00
Take care
