I have been struggling every since came out of hospital, the low grade tumour has been removed, I am free, I am all good.
But where do I go from here now and future?
I have had such a bad luck that my beloved husband only just died two years ago left me no children and family, and found myself in hospital dealing with a low grade tumour, as for the tumour, I am cool with it, it has been cut off, and it either never come back, or come back in very long time, and believing future treatment can heal it again which will give me another long period to live, I could live life in full I am so sure of it.
But. the guy I have been seeing, decided not go ahead due to the unforeseeable future. Tumour scares everyone, especially those who hasn't got one themselves, this saddened me.
I am perfectly normal at work, at home, doing everything just like everyone else, no medication, I am even happier than a lot of people who define themselves as normal, only because a possible future, a possible yes or possible no, I will have to see myself different.
I do not know whether I should look myself as normal as others, live with a potential condition? or I should see myself as a tumour survivor? this bugs me so much now in looking at whole life picture of where should I position myself in the society.
Meanwhile, I meditate, do TaiChi, running, dance, and take holiday as much as I can.
Any suggestion would be appreciate.
