terrible, terrible guilt

Hi Titanicgirl welcome to the forum and sorry that you haven't had a response as yet.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and we all experience it and I think that's what is happening for you but you seem to be taking that on your shoulders as being you should have done certain things. Well we all have that and its wonderful thing cos when things have happened we can look back and say if only I had done this or that but what's the point, we didn't and that's that. Who is to say that the outcome would have been any different f you had done things differently.

So in essence what I am suggesting is that you let that guilt feeling go as there is no real evidence for you to feel it and you need to cut yourself some slack and enjoy life and be happy otherwise Cancer wins.

We have all drank or smoked too much but we dont all get Cancer so sometimes it is just a very random thing and some folks like your self get a bigger slice of the shit pie than others.

Don't waste time just enjoy the here and now and dance like no one is watching. xxxxxxx  

Hi Titanicgirl

I so agree with Granny59 there is no point giving yourself a hard time for something which may or may not have had anything to do with your cancer. I do though completely understand and a year ago I had many of those guilt and other difficult to deal with feelings.

I have learnt mindfulness-the past has gone and we really don’t know what the future holds-use your strength and thoughtfulness to enjoy the now as much as you can it is at times full of wonder even in these very challenging times,

I do wish you well and definitely don’t forget to dance! xxxxx

Hi ,

What a burden to give yourself and to be honest I don’t think the science supports your guilt . My mum is completely tea total and never smoked in her life but still got a stage four bowel cancer diagnosis. She ate well and very healthy . I think it is something to do with an impairment in a DNA chain can’t quite remember the number but I think it was 57 and it just had a malfunction of cells . I will look it up again but we used to have a cancer lecturer who ended up with it himself and he was great at explaining it and easing people through this horrible stage .
My mum focused on her wellbeing and her recovery . If you click on my name you will see her story . 11 years later and she is still doing well . She too felt bad for the pain it inflicted on our lives but that is life and it was also an opportunity for us to show her our love and repay her for all she had done for us . We have had many , many good times since her diagnosis.

I really hope you can move through this stage and find a way forward . 
All the very best with your treatment and your welcome to join us over on the bowel forum too .

Take care ,

Court