Recent diagnosis

I am so sorry to hear how bad you are feeling. It is a shock of course ... lots to adjust to.  Personally I found it helpful to be completely open about it and tell family and friends, even neighbours. It just makes it feel less of a heavy burden..and also people often have a story of a family member or friend having it and being fine now, which all helps! Best of luck... I hope you get a date as soon as possible. Never hesitate to chase them up. There are rules about time limits for referrals and treatments for cancer so check those out and be sure to call and query if you have gone past them. X

Hi Besty26,

please feel reassured that all of how you are feeling is completely normal.  We are waiting for a diagnosis for my husband after numerous scans so I understand how frustrated you must be feeling. It really does help to talk, even if its just to yourself,  getting your feelings and fears out in the open gets it out of your head, you have to also look after your mental health. I know for some people it helps to keep busy or plan things to look forward to, but if you just want to stay in bed or have a good cry then that's pretty normal to. 

I hope you get some dates soon, chase them up and even ring for cancellations if you think wait is to long. Sorry to hear about your partners mother, must be a horrible time for you both,  just keep talking to each other.

Wishing you all the best with you future surgery and recovery. 

Hiya Betsy...welcome to our friendly group. Mine like yours was found by accident. You can read my profile bio. The feelings you are going through are very normal. I was diagnosed December 2023, operation booked for the February. It felt like an eternity, but my consultant had said that this type of cancer was slow growing and not to worry.  I put on the brave face, protecting those I loved, my hubby and sons. I eventually fell apart speaking with a nurse one to one at Christies. I cried and she listened. My life, so much in my own control, was taken away from me. Or felt like it. I was floundering not knowing how to navigate this illness. All the morbid questions I felt I couldn't ask, especially family. Some friends disappeared, while others stepped up and have been there for me. Anyway, a year post op. All the whirlwinds of those heady days of preparing for the op and recovering after seems so far away. What kept me sane at the time was preparing my little nest, because i knew I wouldn't be allowed to do much housework etc. I bought new nightwear and bag and pamper stuff for the hospital, new cushions for my bed for relaxing, downloaded novels...just focused on myself..( very difficult for me lol..) enjoy your good days, learn to be present in the moment. Relax into the bad days, rest but don't allow your head to brood...all will be OK...you are not alone. I have learnt so much about myself in this last year. Emotions good and bad still come but I now deal with it differently. I am now swimming with the tide instead of getting trapped in the rapids being tossed and battered. Always here if you need to vent. Wishing u all the best on your journey hugs and love

Hi sorry to jump in mine was to found while. Looking for something else. I ha my surgery 3 weeks ago today. Like you l like to keep my house tidy. I have lots of tears and fears. 
Mine was. Robotic surgery but was not so easy lost a lot of blood and then a chest infection. 
The feeling of tiredness and how far can l walk a it hurts. 
I ha breast cancer 14 years ago but was never this scared. 
Any advise. 

So very sad u had such a rough time. You didn't mention your fears. I too have many fears and the tears are very natural. You have just had major surgery, with complications. I can try and tell u how I deal with my circumstances. I went through the whole list of shock, disbelief, why me, etc..but I found these emotions taking me down the doom and gloom route...the lack of energy, having to rely on people doing everything for me. Digging deep and I mean deep I did my research (not Google, only British sites of good renown) hard as it seems I take each day as it is. I wake, I make myself a small list of things I want to do that day. I can manage an hour then need to rest, relaxed rest. Yes I get very sad I can't do all the things I want. My future...I have stage 4 cancer, my treatment is in the care of my medical team,  the future is not guaranteed, even if u don't have cancer..so it's back to day to day thoughts and finding what bits of joy I can. To be honest, being made to slow down mentally and physically has been good for me. I the busy bee. I never stopped, never cared about me only others..now I notice those snowdrop, the sounds of the birds chirruping,  I know it sounds trite, yes I get scared, yes I get upset and tearful...but try, please try and find those tiny things of joy and smile. Look at other people's profiles. You managed yourself to survive breast cancer. The stories of survival for many years is much much better than it once was so be heartened...all will be well.. stage 4 abd i havent given up yet...hugest hugs....I hope some of this helps...always here if u need a shoulder...

That's similar to me. double mastectomy at different times.

Saw consultant today. been asked my choices which I said robotic partial nephrectomy  and if not ablation. Both of which are not in our areas.however will have a chat.

There is an issue of my bmi( sigh) despite losing over 2 stone.

The so and so is 25 mm.i asked what the consultant would do and he said monitor it.who knows.my husband said it would be on my mind if that was the case.

Mind boggling to be honest to say the least.

Thank you in advance for letting me vent.

Hi, hope you're ok and your partner.  I hope that they proceed with your procedure asap. Always here. Never feel like a broken record. Best to let it out. Don't do what I did, held it all in last year after my op and I think I'm mentally suffering now. My emotions are all over the shop .  Take care