What to say to children

Hi - my kids were much older, 17 and 20.  We waited until (a) we had something to tell them ie I had started treatment and (b) after my youngest had finished an exam cycle.  

Under 10s are much more delicate because their level of understanding doesn't match the level of an adult.  I would suggest you need to wait until you have the CT scan and know the response.  

Regarding the waiting game.  We all hate the waiting!  With mine I had a ballpark time frame, usually advised by the person managing that consultation eg GP, urologist . . .   usually 2-6 weeks.  I took it day-by-day, and every weekend I ticked off a week in my head.  The first "target" was the letter witth the date.  Then the next target the appt.  I found working helped because I would sporadically think "oh I haven't thought about the cancer for a couple of hours".   When I got a letter or a phone call about it, I was like a kid at Christmas and marked that off as a step nearer the appt or more info or perhaps even answers.  

This time now, is the worst bit.  Once you know how they propose to manage it, it's so much easier and you find you will get into the swing of it.  Then you will know that something is being done about it and that is so much easier than waiting for info or the unknown.  

You could consider time off work.  I think everyone does this at some point.  But I found I still thought about it incessantly!  Time really helps.  

I was given a book that explained things to my children in a great way when they were very young.it explains things simply to young children.my eldest read to my youngest.

I wish you all the best . What Mmum said was spot on.

https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/mental-health-cancer/where-to-get-support/cancer-support-organisations/children-resources

I'm not brilliant at sharing links but maybe this will help.

Thank you so much for your response and advice regarding the children. They know daddy has a poorly kidney,  but I think you are right in waiting to hear the CT results before we say anything further. 

I agree all we can do is take it day by day and once we know what is happening then I think we will be able to prepare ourselves and little ones more. 

I hope you are now on the mend and able move forward abd look to the future. 

Thank you so much for your response and the link, I found it very useful. 

I hope you are now on the mend and able to look to the future.