Hi everyone,
I'm new here, I'm just putting a message out there to ask anyone with experience of this to give advice.
My beloved granddad was diagnosed with kidney cancer last week along with vascular dementia and also, yesterday were told it is spreading to his lungs rapidly. He is 81 and deteriorating quickly.
He's coming out of hospital today and going back home to my Nan where we are having district nurses in every morning and night time to relieve her of doing everything for him.
There's a few things I'd like to ask.
The first one being how do you cope? I took the news last week quite well and didn't really get upset, but yesterday hearing that it is spreading, I've not took it so well. I don't know whether I want to see him the way he is but then I feel bad for not wanting to go? My emotions are all over the place and I literally have no other place to turn to as I don't want to burden my family with anymore upset. I've been psyching myself up for the day he comes out of hospital, but now it is actually here, it feels like the beginning of the end and I am really struggling.
Second, will he be in pain? And how long? I am 22, my Nan on my moms side passed away from leukaemia in 2009 and it was horrible, I hated seeing her in pain and I was only 10. I am honestly dreading seeing him deteriorate and even more so dreading seeing him in pain if he gets pain. I'm asking for any advice on how it goes, especially with his dementia as well as the cancer. Will it affect the cancer more? Or does it not make any difference?
He is not having any chemo or operations on it as he isn't strong enough to get through it. I am just trying to prepare myself for what's to come and I would really appreciate any experiences or advice I can be given at this point.
Thank you :)
