Do I eat the cake?

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Hi,

I am new here and fairly newly diagnosed with kidney cancer and secondary in one of my lungs. I am just waiting for my next appointment which will tell me whether surgery is possible.
At my last appointment I was told that without treatment I would have months to live and with effective treatment hopefully years. What I would like to ask any more experienced members is ways that you manage to find a level of peace with that uncertainty.
I am supposed to be getting as fit and healthy as I can before surgery but if I really only have a few months to live I want to eat all the nice cake I can! I think that the “whether to eat cake” debate is a microcosm of the larger “how to deal with 2 quite different potential outcomes” question. Do I do a bucket list or try to keep things as normal as possible? Do I dance until dawn while I can or do I try to keep my sleep regular for optimum health? Everything has changed yet everything is still weirdly the same.
So hello to everyone and thank you to everyone who has posted and blogged before, reading your experiences has helped me to get my head around some of what may be ahead for me.

Mmum 7 hours ago

Hi - This was me, diagnosed in Nov 2021.

Diffyc1abf2 said:
I would like to ask any more experienced members is ways that you manage to find a level of peace with that uncertainty.

It takes time, but my approach was to read-the-room for indicators of good/bad. Perhaps it's easier for me because my response to treatment was good. I saw it like this -> I've already been told it's incurable with a 5 year prognosis. I can't see how any update can be worse, and I can't change or impact what happens next. So, why worry?

It's easy for me to reflect. The stage you are at right now, is the most tricky and challenging. Like you say, uncertainty is sky high and you're forced to face difficult issues you never ever anticipated. Many on here have faced these times and it does get better once the treatment options have been discussed and a course of action is decided on.

Have a look at this group. It might help. Living with incurable cancer forum - patients only

You can read my blog here.

Diffyc1abf2 1 hour ago in reply to Mmum

Thank you, I appreciate your reply and the thought that it might get better once I understand the treatment options. I look forward to reading your blog and I have joined the group.
All the best to you.

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Do I eat the cake?