Hello, new to this

Hi Freckles16,   I can hear the desperation in your voice, and its a terrible time for you i know. You have come to the right place to find help and advice. Its a club none of us want to join but we are all in the same boat. I presume you have only just been diagnosed with your cancer, this is the worse part of it everything is so upsetting and out of your control. When i say it will get better i dont for one minute expect you to believe me but it does. At the moment everything is up in the air, doctors, oncologist, nurses,all these people need to be seen and you will wonder if it ever ends it does. The first few weeks are the hardest i know i cried for weeks, could not sleep, and definatly didnt function, all i wanted to do was hide under the duvet or drtink na lot of wine. My friends and family were so anxious about my mental state i decided i had to sort my self out. Thats how i found this site and its been a god send.You can talk honestly here about how you really feel and someone will have been there and can maybe help in some small way. Things will be a lot better when you have a treatment plan, and know all the options available to you and there are lots of different treatments available. Please dont think this is the end its not its just the begining of a different way of life. I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004, and last year was diagnosed with secondary bone cancer which is not curable but treatable and hopefully i will be around a lot longer.A positve attertude helps but i know you are not there yet but you will be. Please just stop and breath, and try to stay as calm as you can.things will get sorted and you will get the help you need. I wish you all the best Dawn x

Hi, thank you for the lovely message.

This all started in April, I never for one second that it was cancer. I had three “UTIs”, now not sure they were, in the space of three months, by the third one I was referred for an unltrasound, quickly fo,lowed by a CT scan, which when they showed me the size of the lump I was completely shocked. For size comparison, one kidney was like a golf ball the other was like a melon. Then came the MRI scan, went into a complete panic attack as I’m claustrophobic but manage to get through it. Was told I’d either have immunotherapy or an op but since then have basically been on the road to an op. Will be having my op on 30th of this month in royal marsden, so the best place to be but will be very lonely as they’re not allowing visitors. The thought of the op is terrifying, then the recovery afterwards. This is all made worse as I had labrynthitis (inner ear infection) end of October which caused damage to my inner ear, this made me so sick that I couldn’t even get out of bed for two weeks with sickness and dizziness. I eventually got seen by ENT who gave me exercises but this is still a daily battle and don’t like to)no anywhere on my own as I walk round in a daze. Not sure I’ll ever be 100%, had to give up my childminding business and haven’t driven since. So basically already had 11 months of crap so to then have this really does suck. 
really sorry to hear that you’ve been struck down by this illness again.

best wishes, Linda x

Hi Freckles16, Wow your poor kidney. Not to long to wait now till 30th and the operation will be over with and you are in the best cancer unit The Royal Marsden.I have to have a lot of MRI so can sympathize with the clausrophobia i have learned never to have a MRI in a mobile unit as they are a lot smaller and take a lot longer so if you have to have another please make sure its in the main hospital not a mobile unit for warned for armed haha. Its not to bad in hospital without visitors i was in for a while and its ok , just take your tablet, kindle ect. A friend of mine sufferers with labrynthitis and i know how debilitating it can be. She had to give up her job and driving just like you and then she was diagnosed with incurable liver cancer you both sound quite simular. Like us all cancer can destroy all we had and what we were looking forward to, but we just have to do things differently, she got herself a little dog and having to go for a small walk every day has really lifted her spirits, she has to use a stick and cant walk very far but each day she is getting stronger. I wish you all the best with your surgery and recovery Take care Dawn x

Hi,

Thank you for the heads up.

sending best wishes to you and your friend

take care Linda x