Kidney removal

Hi and welcome to the Online Community. I'm sorry to hear of your hubby's diagnosis and his back pain before and following his surgery.

I've a different type of cancer but I do remember the brief time I was in hospital the ward sister/manager was adamant that I control the pain and ask for pain relief rather than let the pain take over - it's strange the way different NHS trusts operate so differently, certainly shouldn't have taken 40 minutes to sort out! I also know my hubby of over 40 years is hell to live with at the moment due to pain - he's on the waiting list for hip surgery, whether we'll reach 42 years at the moment is debateable!

I can understand he's really emotional at the moment. A diagnosis of cancer happens to other people, not us so he'll be numb, anxious and stressed and probably push you away. For you, unable to put things right, it's unbearably hard. When his plan of adjuvant treatment has been discussed, he'll feel more in control of the situation. It's the unknown that's the scariest part and waiting for results is hell!

It might be a good idea for you to join our Family and Friends group where you'll be able to connect with others in a similar position and discuss how you're feeling.

Sending you hugs, B xx

Hello, I’m sorry about your husbands diagnosis.

i had my right kidney removed on the 28th June. I was given a spinal block to help with the pain after the surgery. It did cause some back pain for about a month, I don’t think it helped all the time spent sitting down. It’s much better now I’m moving around and more mobile. 

I too was more or less left to look after myself in hospital, just obs and paracetamol. I was on a ward with 4 people who’d had bowell surgery, they were assigned physio’s to help them post op. Given special cushions to use for coughing etc and shown how to support wounds/ sleep positions/ getting out of bed etc etc. I had an open nephrectomy so incision was from belly button down and 3 more smaller ones on my upper abdomen. I struggled to get out of bed and dreaded having to get up to go to the toilet. 

I was in for 6 days. I felt completely invisible and couldn’t wait to get home so I could get some care and help.  I was told to drink plenty of water but the water jugs were never filled! I hated having to keep asking as they were so short staffed. I felt like the world was carrying on and mine had stopped and I was never going to feel normal again. Maybe your husband feels similar.

Its lovely you say you want to take it all away for him, I’m sure my partner would do the same. Just being there for us is wonderful, and writing your post shows how much you care. 

Once home I started eating better and felt a bit stronger each day but I was very low and tearful, I wouldn’t say I was ever a cryer but I was just so low. And the fatigue!! I could have slept for England! I’m feeling better now but still not 100%, I’ve read different accounts of recovery times and everyone is different so I’m not putting any pressure on myself. I’m back to doing some housework, a bit of gardening and cooking so things are getting back to normal. 

It would have helped me if I’d have read in the early days that this is how you could feel and it WILL get better even though it doesn’t seem like it now, it really would have helped. So, from someone a little further down the road, it will get better, eat well, don’t sit for too long, I found i stiffened up if I did, and don’t be too hard on yourself, you’ll get there. Good luck with your recovery. 

M x