Emotional support

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Hi all 2 weeks post left nephrectomy and physically doing okay.

However found a lump in my groin area and the GP is baffled to what it could be... ruled out a hernia which I hoped it would be

I have had a really whirlwind 7 weeks or so. I set off to work as normal ended up in A&E with a gallbladder attack in that time had emergency surgery for my gallbladder... left nephrectomy and now found this lump.

Iv been soo strong. Barely showed any emotion at all with a let's crack on attitude.

Hubby back to work next week and as far as everyone else is concerned it's over.... hopefully I'll be back to work in around 6 to 8 weeks and that's that.

However im falling apart. I cant talk to anyone ... i cried all night thinking this lump could be cancer... i dont feel convinced it's over or relieved one little bit.

i fear not seeing my kids and little grandchildren grow up... I feel iv lied to my kids as I said I'd always be there etc.

Anyway enough rambling but I am not in a good place right now currently hiding in a toilet crying so no one see's. Hubby doesn't understand but I feel like I'm going insane

LJT 4 months ago

You’ve been through such a lot in a very short time. You’re bound to be feeling overwhelmed. Try to talk to your family. Sounds like you’re all being strong for each other but there’s no shame in being scared and emotional xx

Study To Be Quiet 4 months ago

Don’t see it as a weakness. Sometimes we try so hard to be strong for our loved ones that we don’t give ourselves a chance to absorb the shocks. Sometimes we just need to cry before we can face carrying on.

I remember finally breaking down and sobbing in front of my husband, finally saying to him that I needed him to be the positive one for me because I was in a darker place, full of fear and pessimism. Thankfully, he stepped up, reversing our usual roles.I think now, four years later, that my emotional collapse was just a natural part of the process. He needed to know how afraid I was and I needed to express those fears that were haunting my every waking moment.

You may not need what I did, we don’t all feel the same, but you are working through some intense emotions and need to give yourself permission to cry, whether in private or shared.

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