Kidney Cancer

Hi there , I’m so sorry you had to join this group and I’m not really the person to respond to you as it’s my husband who had his kidney out last October but I know the feelings you’re going through. My husband wasn’t worried it was me who was petrified once we were told it was cancer and the waiting for the operation was far worse then the operation IMO, it just seemed to go on forever and you think the cancers getting bigger but apparently KC is slow growing, my husband was told he could have had his 30cm tumour for a long time. He had open surgery and was out of hospital on the fourth day, (he had 2 cancellation as no HDU beds, he didn’t need it in the end) he didn’t have any pain and apart from a bit of struggle getting out of bed the first few days he’s been fine. He was walking into town a week later, taking it easy and not over doing it. A lot of people seem to have pain and fatigue for a long time after so not really sure why my 75 year old fella did really well. 

Once you get into hospital and get the operation over with I’m sure you’ll be ok and just remember you’ll be asleep and not know a thing, he woke up with a catheter, a pain pump, and another thing going into his tummy, he didn’t use the pain pump and only had paracetamols on the second day. 

Im sending you hugs and love but sure someone will be along soon who’s actually had the op. Xx

Hi lou68

I was diagnosed with kidney cancer just before Christmas. I turned overnight from being rational and calm into a woman with crippling anxiety. I couldn’t sleep and black thoughts filled my waking hours. Friends and family tried to be supportive but unless you have had a cancer diagnosis you don’t understand. I wasn’t frightened for me but for my husband and three grown up sons. It was the worst thing I’ve had to do telling them and trying to play down my anxiety. Once I knew the operation date I was able to get into practical mode. I cleaned the house from top to bottom etc. I did try to get as fit as I could. I’m 65 but walked miles everyday.

the operation was four hours long. I had a radical nephrectomy using keyhole surgery. I was only two nights in hospital, the first in intensive care. Pain was controlled well in hospital but when I got home I had to rely on paracetamol. Walking was hard for a week or so and getting out of bed very painful. By two weeks I was walking well and with less pain. Again I did find going for walks eased pain. I was back at work as a teacher after seven weeks and now after three months back to normal. I do get reminders that I’ve done too much - pain in the side but with rest it soon goes.

its not a walk in the park but rather like child birth you do forget the pain! Mentally I’m finding it harder. Some days it hits me like a ton of bricks that I’ve gone through such a lot. This site is wonderful as there is such support from people who have been through the same thing. I hope this helps. You will get through it. Watch out for the constipation !!! 

Jane

Hi Joncol, funny isn't it the ton of brick thing, i'm also struggling and finding it very hard and it's not even me with kidney cancer. i just worry about everything for my husband. Ive had bladder cancer for over 6 years and didn't worry about that until my husband was diagnosed, now it all seems to be too much, i think when we get his first CT scan back in writing i'll start to feel better, when it says he's ok of course. I wish i could be more like my husband and just get on with life. Just letting you know you're not alone Jane x

Thanks suecc

i definitely put on a brave face and always answer fine when asked but in reality cancer is never far from my thoughts. The kidney cancer was found incidentally when I was diagnosed with a blood cancer called follicular lymphoma so a double diagnosis to get my head around! Fortunately the lymphoma is slow growing and at the moment doesn’t need treating. It’s called  watch and wait but in reality is watch and worry. Always wondering if aches and pains are kidney related or lymphoma.

indo try to keep very busy but then the ton of bricks fall! X Jane

Hi ,

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but welcome to the community.

It is such a shock when you are first diagnosed as there is so much you don't know and when they try to explain it to you it is like it is a foreign language.

The preferred treatment for kidney cancer if it is caught early is surgery.  This will give you the best chance of having the cancer removed totally.  It is major surgery but to the surgeons is quite routine   So much about how you cope and recover appears to be down to the individual but your consultant will advise you of the local guidelines.  I was told I would be in hospital for about 5 days and off work for at least six weeks.

In my experience the waiting is usually worse than the reality.  I tried to keep busy so that I can avoid thinking about it too much.  I read a lot of books, did a lot of tidying, cooking and d.i.y. and occupied as much of my time as I could.  A lot of my friends on the site refer to it as living in the moment and focussing on what you are doing at the time rather than worrying about what could happen in the future.  I still worried at quiet times and every little twinge became cancer related, any time  I wasn't otherwise occupied was time spent thinking about cancer and your mind is full of what if's?

Obviously it is your choice but if your children are grown up I would share how I was feeling with them.  You are denying them the opportunity to support and help you by not telling them.  They may also help your husband to support you but also help him to deal with his own feelings.

I try to avoid any misunderstanding be telling my family what sort of support I would prefer.  I don't want to spend all my time discussing cancer but I am happy to acknowledge it and will let them know how I am feeling and will keep them updated.  I was happy that my family could do this but clearly you know how your family are likely to deal with this.  I chose not to tell my friends that it was cancer they were operating on but described it as a routine procedure but if you have a good friend that you are happy will support you and that you are OK to share the information with then by all means do so.

If you have any specific questions then feel free to ask them here and if anyone can answer them then they will do so.

Do you have a date yet for your operation?

Wishing you and your family all the best,

Gragon x