Terrified

Hi Cilla,

Welcome to our group

It sounds as though you have gone through the mill a bit health wise. Although it will have come as a big shock to you, it’s a really good job that they picked up your kidney tumour, so you can have something done about it.

So mine was found on an ultrasound scan and was around 5.3 cms. I had a radical nephrectomy ( it all removed);last April. The op wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but the uncertainty before I had the op was worse. The day of my op I was actually okay travelling to the hospital and thought yes, let’s get this done. 

You will have ups and downs, but there will be members on the site who will have words of encouragement.

Do try to distract yourself in between hospital appointments, read, watch tv, talk and go out with family and friends, anything to take your mind away from it. I know it’s hard, but I found everything seemed bigger when I focussed on it.

Maybe give macmillan a call.

Hope all goes okay tomorrow.( let us know)

love Jules xx

Hi Cilla/Angie,

 I, like Jules, had a nephrectomy about 9 months ago. About the same i think.

My diagnosis came as such a shock to me because, apart from peeing some blood, i felt really well. I went from not having cancer. to having a tumour in my bladder and a tumour 9cm on my right kidney. Wowsa. It is a lot to process suddenly. And sure - worry floods in to your mind.

Have you been given the number of a specialist nurse ? One is normally assigned to you. That nurse should be able to explain things to you and may be able to help you with your fears and worries. 

Keep posting and reading on here Angie. There is much experience/help and one can draw strength from that. Ask anything. Some people have been through so much and are only too glad to offer help/support through this forum which can be a great comfort.

Ta for now....Del.

Hi Jules 

Thank you for replying. I will let you know how I get on at my surgeons clinic today. I was in a right state yesterday. My doctor prescribed me 4 diazepam, after me literally begging, so I took 2 last night and I will take the other 2 tonight. I slept for the first time in ages. I wish I had someone to talk to who is in a state like me. It just seems never ending problems with my health haunt me now ! Just get over one thing and then it’s another.  My anxiety will probably give me another heart attack. I am dreading coming off any meds for this operation. I won’t leave my sofa! The thing I can’t cope with is waiting for test results etc.  It sends me into panic mode. How often to you get check ups to see if it’s spread ? Will I have chemo etc. Any help is so helpful xx

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it xx

Hi Angie,

Welcome to the community this is a club no one wants to belong to, but they are a great crowd on here and full of information, I know it is such a worrying time for you we have we gone through the sleepiness, worry, fear and not knowing what to expect, the Macmillan staff are great any questions or help, do you have family and friends who can help at this time, you will find out more tomorrow when you have your meeting it is surprising how much better you will feel when you know what they are going to do for you and everyone here will help as much as they can, if you keep in touch we will be here to listen you can ask questions or just rant and let it all out, I will send hugs and prayers for you the unknown is also so frightening try to keep your chin up love Sandy xx

Thanks Sandy, my appointment is today at 1pm so I will update you this afternoon! Feeling a bit sick at the mo but your words really help

Angie xx

Hi,

Yes it is only natural that you feel this way, when I went to have my op I felt like running away, but the staff are wonderful and they looked after me well, it would be good if you could have someone with you to take notes for you Sandy xx

Hello Cilla

I am at a similar stage to you. I have my first appointment on Friday. I am very anxious too. Posting on here has helped me. Knowing anxiety and fear are normal reactions to our situation also helped. 

Using the 'ask a nurse' section was helpful when I didn't understand something and my imagination was going into overdrive.

You are not alone. There are lots of people on here who understand what you are going through. 

Keep posting. You are in a difficult situation and the support on here is great. I will be thinking of you.

I find concentrating on my breathing helps, and writing down my fears and worries. They are always much bigger in my mind!

Best wishes for today.

Hi, seen my surgeon. He was lovely. Operation is scheduled for 20th Feb and is keyhole. He was very positive that it was localised and the chances of it spreading are slim. So I am really pleased with what he said! He said it was in a good position for a partial too!

angie xx

Hi Cilla,

That’s great news and key hole is even better, I bet you feel a great lift off your shoulders do try to relax now and be positive it won’t be long now, you will probably wonder why you were so scared, don’t forget we are here for you if you have any wobbles I will be thinking of you sending love and hugs to you Sandy xx