So stressed

RedTree

Stay with us where you don’t need to be strong  The only person you have to keep it together for is your Dad.He will be worrying about you as well as himself  Come here to cry scream and get answers  There are a couple of other members here who have recently been diagnosed with the same cancer, and others waiting for diagnosis  You’ll be in good company to share  

Meanwhile here’s a big hug! 

Hi RedTree, it's good that you have found us, all of us on here know how you and your dad feel. It's a very worrying and scary time for you now, however when all the tests are done and you are told what treatment your dad will be having, you and he will feel better about things. Be assured that the treatment does deliver a very high cure rate as much as 95%. You can ask anything you want on here; you don't have to be strong I know I wasn't. Stick with us, we're here to help.

Ray.

He's had all the MRIs,cts,x-rays,addition MRIs of spine and brain,had needle biopsy ect ,this started ,9 weeks ago after a visit to the GP ,things moved very very fast,Told cancer is poorly differentiated and containers squamous cells that shouldn't be there.Seen the surgeon,plus the ent cancer team ,supported by Macmillan cns nurses who have been brilliant.My mum is in her 80s and alas I lost my sister six years ago to bowel cancer that went to her brain ,from diagnosis to death took 12 weeks,just came out the blue ...so it's just me and my husband helping .Dad also has af and is on blood thinners .I've full confidence in the drs I'm just worried about the aftermath.

It is going to be tough.  Stay with us and vent when you need to.  If you need advice - ask and we will do our best for you.  I too hate it when people say that I am strong and positive.  We put on an appearance that hides the reality of what we are going through - both the patient and their loved ones.  Whatever you do make time for yourself in all of this.

Alas you and your dad can only take this one stage at a time and that next stage is the surgery.  From there the medics will be able to plan the next stage.  I think everyone will look for the best possible outcome for your dad and that really revolves around quality of life.  Whatever treatment he undergoes will be aimed to ensuring the best possible quality of life.  He may make choices about his treatment that you don't like, but need to respect.

Onto the practical bits, my cancer was not in the parotoid, but I have had 2 neck dissections.  Whilst these sound horrendous I found them fairly easy to recover from.  Hopefully your dad will as well.

Hi welcome from me. Now you’ve found us feel free to rant on here we’ve all been  there. Fear is a real emotion st times like this you find out who your real friends are. My cancer was also poorly differentiated scc but mine was tonsil with 7 lymph nodes. I kept off google it’s not your friend stick around on here. 
hugs to you snd your dad. 

Hazel xx

Dad gets his surgery next week.

I'll just be glad when it's done and he's waking up and hopefully not in a bad way and he can start his road to recovery.

Putting on a brave face and a positive upbeat spin on everything not voiceing any worries to my mum or dad at all last thing they need is me voiceing what I've no doubt they're thinking....

I had a neck dissection 5 weeks ago, following removal of a tumour from my tongue and one lymph node for biopsy. Don’t be downhearted by how your dad seems immediately after the op. It soon gets better. Rest is important but also gentle activity building up to normal. Five weeks in, I’m doing really well. Be patient and look after yourself as well. 

Thank you for that 

Dad has been told that the operation might be cancelled if emergencies  come in but surely if operations need to be cancelled ect cancer surgery takes priority ....anyone else ever had surgery for cancer cancelled on the day

Not cancelled but mine was delayed. Scheduled for the morning but not done until about 3pm, they said they’d had an emergency. I’m sure they won’t cancel unless they really have to.