Mum is sleeping all the time and hardly eating

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Hello , me again not being able to find my previous post , I have moved mum to my house as of Friday last week , Wednesday I thought she was dying I thought I could smell it on her breath …. Since being at mine she perked up a little bit for a couple of days …. Today has been a bad day she’s been asleep all day almost and managed a couple of spoons of yogurt and is just drinking her milkshakes , her tongue is so sore and her sorry tmi her mouth is just thick with gunk when she wakes up , she’s still managing to have a sneaky fag out in the garden I know don’t come for me ….. we have the hospice nurse coming Thursday at lunchtime where I’m hoping she may prescribe some fentanyl patches for mum too because although she is taking morphine and oral morphine I know she is still in pain , she told me this morning she just wants to top herself …. Can any of you advise me we have been doing this sleeping thing for about 2 maybe 2 and a half weeks now … I’m just going to ask … is my mums body preparing to die ..? It’s all the unknown I don’t know what’s coming one day to the next I’m doing my best I’m injecting her insulin’s I’m offering food I’m giving morphine I’m sitting with her I’m holding her hand …. What’s happening ? Thanks to anyone that replies and sorry for such a strong message I suppose x

  • Hi Shirleybop

     A discussion the hospice nurse about end of life care might be the way to go forward.....probably knows much more about the topic than most on here.

    Peter

  • Hello , me again not being able to find my previous post

    Here 

    https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/head-neck-cancer-forum/f/updates/276472/mum-is-sleeping-all-the-time

    Peter is spot on. Leave this to the hospice nurse. 
    My mother in law is receiving end of life care. She isn’t being given fentanyl because her doctor tells us that when the body begins to shut down fentanyl isn’t absorbed. She has oxycodone.
    Best wishes. . 

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below 

    https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com 

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

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  • Yes sobell house nurse is coming Thursday I just feel so desperate everyday , I don’t want mum suffering like this it’s just so cruel , I feel drained 

  • Hi Shirley. Sorry to hear this and please don’t berate your mum if she wants a cheeky fag let her we will never judge anyone, my mother in law was in hospice and they let her have a few every day out of the patio window on the terrace. Please talk with nurse it may be time for her to go into the hospice and that way you can visit or maybe stay longer and be her daughter instead of her carer. Just a thought. 

    hugs Hazel xx

    Hazel aka RadioactiveRaz 

    My blog is www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com  HPV 16+ tonsil cancer Now 5 years  post treatment. 35 radiotherapy 2 chemo T2N2NM.Happily getting on with living always happy to help  

  • Hi Shirley

    This is a really hard time for you, I am so sorry. You are such a supportive daughter and your mother must really appreciate the support you are giving her at the moment. Just keep on with what you are doing, giving her your love and support and keep holding her hand.  Steel yourself for what may happen and take the advice of the palliative care nurse. I felt so sad seeing my mum going down a very similar path before she passed on.

    Sending you lots of hugs

    Lyn

    x

    Sophie66

  • Hi Shirleybop

    So sorry to hear about your mum. You are amazing in trying to look after her and be there for her on her journey. I also think that Peter is spot on, The hospice nurse would be the best person to support you and your mum . They do an amazing job and know exactly how to accompany patients and their families through such a painful and upsetting time. If you can, spend as much time as possible with your mum, talk to her and tell her how much you love her, even if she seems asleep. She needs to be at peace. The hospice will relieve you from your carer role and will enable you to accompany her in a much more peaceful way. 

    My thoughts are with you. Sending you loads of hugs and love.

    Fab1

  • Hi Shirleybop,

    I did respond to your previous post which Dani has highlighted.  I just need to say that you are doing amazingly for your Mum. 

    To answer your question,  yes her body is slowly shutting down. 

    At this stage whatever she wants is not going to harm her.  I hope the hospice nurse can make her last few days comfortable.  Also, remember that the hospice are there not only for your Mum but also you as a family and they can offer lots of practical advice and support over the coming weeks.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Peter
    See my profile for more details of my convoluted journey
  • Thankyou , hospice nurse is coming tomorrow , mum was asleep all day yesterday and awake all night , I phoned GP this morning she said that’s normal ? Mum’s been asleep again all afternoon and no food today just sick :( Thankyou for kind words , I’m doing my best for my mum and I’ll look after her as best I can until the end x

  • Hugs, Shirley. You are doing a marvellous job, sad though it is. 

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below 

    https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com 

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

    Community Champion badge
  • Thankyou Weary mums also got a cough I’ve noticed today I’m worrying we don’t have much time at all but I just don’t know … questions for hospice nurse tomorrow x Thankyou everyone this has been good for me to let it out here x