Phased return to work

Hi Janet. He’s bound to feel anxious, but has you say a phased return to work it’s the best way to go.I was retired so can’t help but am sure a few will pop on with their experience s. 
Hazel 

Hi Janet

I in essence stopped working when I got my diagnosis - it was just time - so I cant help with the worker aspect of phased return.  However, as a manager, I've had a few long duration return to work staff. 

Your son sounds like a valued member of the team and that is to his advantage.

I think it is an anxious time for both parties, made more difficult by Covid and working from home which can be very isolating.  I would be asking for a plan to integrate  back into the workforce, not just the work.  That may involve being able to attend site and meet colleagues, some of whom may be new during his time off.  Being part of the workforce is key to the emotional aspect.  The value of coffee machine conversations cannot be underestimated and they are far easier to have remotely if you have physically met and bonded with the other person.

There should be regular reviews as to how things are progressing covering all aspects of the employment environment.  Both parties should be open to changes to help the return to work.  They should also agree results based targets and timeframes.  This changes working from home from being "just attending" to actually delivering valuable packages of work.  Hopefully that will give your son a sense of purpose and achievement.

In the home environment (I've done a lot of working from home) I would ensure that I have a dedicated "office space"; not just the dining room table.  That can be difficult to achieve.  His employer should provide appropriate equipment, IT, chairs etc. to make it a safe environment.

Finally, alongside the dedicated space, I used to get dressed for work.  I know the current "dress theme" is for joggers or PJs, but putting on a suit will give him the feeling that this is work he is attending and not just another process.

Hope these thoughts help.

Thanks so much for your advice.  My son messaged me last night to say the HR department are setting up an on-line meeting with an external healthcare provider to set up and talk about his return.  They have said they don't want to run before he can walk.  He can't go into the office at the moment as he isn't able to drive.  However, he does have a home office and was working from home before his diagnosis.  Thank you again for all your feedback.  Take care and stay safe 

Janet 

Thanks Hazel xx

Hi Janet,

I was in a similar place in July. At 48 it would be too much of a financial hit to retire. I really wasn't sure how I'd cope, but knew I needed to try, or I would never have wanted to go back. The phased return is essential, if his work expect too much the Dr Peter Harvey article is a great one for him to share. 

Most of our scars and struggles aren't visible, so it can be easy for people to forget we can take years to recover. The fatigue also comes and goes.

I have a year phased return. I am making it in every day, but have 3 days I can head in a bit later if I need to. I have a slightly reduced workload too. Some on the adjustments he needs will depend on the job he does. Working from home not really an.option for me, but adjustments allowed for voice breaks and I can request not to teach in rooms where the acoustics are beyond me. 

Remind your son if he needs to remind work at any time he has protection under disability discrimination, although it sounds like he has a supportive employer.

I have colleagues who look out for me, and tell me when I look like I'm doing too much. If he can chat about his apprehension with some people, hopefully he will have folk do this for him too. 

I'm learning to listen to and respect when my body says too much, or I need to eat, etc. I keep some Ensure on hand, as I can feel a calorie drop some days. I also went to bed 8.30 for my first few weeks back! 

As we all say, so long as he is kind to himself and stays open to it possibly being too much. I'm not 100% certain I'll make it back fully, taking it a day or week at a time. 

Wishing him all the best,

Gill

Hi Janet

I understand your son’s anxiety about returning to work as he has been away from his work environment for a while now.

After the operation and radiotherapy for my first cancer when I was 59 I was off work for about 4 months and I found I was very anxious about returning to work wondering how I would cope as my job was quite demanding with lots of interaction with clients. I was also the senior in my position so had a lot of responsibility. It is daunting enough when you are in full health but when recovering from a prolonged absence due to an illness it can be hard as you can lose your confidence in your ability.

My work place was very understanding and let me do a phased return which really helped. I was worried about how my energy levels would hold up as well as making the day to day decisions and not making mistakes.

I found my colleagues were very supportive and it did not take too long before I got back into the swing of things. My energy levels held up O.K. and I got more confident over a few weeks and was back into full work mode fairly quickly.

I continued on working until I retired when I was 65 with no issues.

The first few days back at work are the hardest but I know your son will get there. Sometimes the worry about how you will cope is  worse than the actual reality.

 If your son takes it a day at a time and does not push himself too hard his confidence will return and he will get there.  His workplace sounds as though they are really supportive so that is half the battle. He will initially feel very tired as the mental concentration can take its toll but if he factors in rest periods that should help.

Wishing him all the best in this next step of his recovery as it is a big one.

Lyn

Thank you Lyn, yes his workplace have been very supportive and are doing all they can to make his phased return to work as comfortable as possible for him.  Hope things are ok with you, take care and stay safe x

Thanks Gill, all good advice.  My son was working from home before his diagnosis (due to covid restrictions) so he is used to that and he has a home office.  His company are very good and are working with him to make sure he has a phased return.  At the moment he isn't allowed to drive as he is still on morphine patches etc, but is hoping to be weaned off them soon.  Hope things are going well for you, take care and stay safe x

Janet 

I just remembered that I posted this link a few months ago.  The information in here may be relevant and helpful

www.mouthcancerfoundation.org/.../

Thank you, I'll pass this on to my son.  Take care 

Janet