Update following my treatment

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I got in touch in July to ask for help advice before undergoing treatment following surgery for cancer of the nose and upper lip. I also had to go through two lots of surgery to remove lymph nodes in both sides of my neck. I had chemotherapy and 32 sessions  of radiotherapy. My treatment started in September due to having to undergo second lot of surgery to remove lymph nodes in the right side of my neck. Unfortunately I spent most of the time in hospital due to severe vomiting and nausea. I also had to fight two infections and a deep vein thrombosis . I knew the treatment involving radiotherapy to my face and neck would be hard  but did not expect the after effects to be so severe. I also have a peg tube fitted in my stomach as I can’t eat because my muscles in my throat are too weak following the treatment.  I was in hospital from September until Christmas Eve and I am still on medication. I have been informed that the treatment has been successful and I should be happy but I burst out  crying all the time. I can’t help feeling so low. I am taking it one day at a time and hope to have the peg tube removed soon. 

I will update you again soon.

  • Lady 

    Hello and thank you for the update. 
    So good to hear your treatment has eradicated the cancer but it so awful that the side effects have been so debilitating in mind and body. 
    Most  people don’t suffer so badly so that makes it doubly awful for you. 
    You sound quite depressed and I’m not surprised considering what you’ve been through 

    Is there any way you might approach your GP about a course of antidepressants. Lots of people have relied on these short term to lift their mood and found them to be a great help in getting them over the worst. 
    A spot of counselling wouldn’t go amiss but I guess in the Covid climate that’s not possible

    You can access The Macmillan Support Line The phone lines are open seven days a week from 8am to 8pm and there are links to a web chat there. Just click on the red link

    I hope you can find some peace of mind and let us know how you get on. 

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below 

    https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com 

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

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  • Hi Lady66h and thanks for the update.  I'm so sorry to read about all the other things you've had to experience whilst undergoing treatment.

    I don't know who told you you should be happy due to successful treatment - rather a thoughtless comment in my opinion considering all the physical and emotional trauma you've been through.  Having some tears is a natural reaction.

    I'm pleased you're taking things a day at a time.   Have you thought about contacting Macmillan's support line for some counselling?

    You may also be interested to read this which many people find helpful once their treatment has finished.

    https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

    Do keep in touch.  People on the forum are more than willing to offer advice and support and a sympathetic ear.

    Take care.

    Linda x

  • Hi Lady66 h

    Thank  you for your update so sorry you’ve had such an horrendous ordeal. To have bern in hospital for such a long time can’t have been good for you mental health either. Please contact the Macmillan team it really does help to talk to someone who has been professionally trained. As for being happy I agree with Linda rather insensitive remark . I still remember when my hubby and I were told my treatment had been successful we drove home in silence and were numb. Happy wasn’t an adjective I would have used. As for your peg don’t be in a rush to get rid of it. Baby steps was my mantra don’t risk not eating use the time to build yourself up with the knowledge the peg is there if you need it. 
    We are all here if you want a rant look forward to next update 

    Hazel x

    Hazel aka RadioactiveRaz 

    My blog is www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com  HPV 16+ tonsil cancer Now 5 years  post treatment. 35 radiotherapy 2 chemo T2N2NM.Happily getting on with living always happy to help  

  • Hi Lady66

    You have been through a very difficult time over the last few months and it is no wonder you are feeling down.

    It is great when you are told that the treatment has been successful but what they don’t address is how much it has affected your life and will continue to do so. You are grieving and it takes time to work that through.

     I went through a very down time after I had completed my treatment thinking ‘my life was not supposed to go like this, I had other plans and now it can’t ever be the same again.’

    It took me a little while with the support of my surgeon and G.P. and also with the great support from this forum. It was suggested to me to go on a short term course of antidepressants but with all the support I received I decided I did not need to go with this. However I do think that if you are feeling really down this may be worth discussing with your G.P. It really helps being able to discuss your concerns also.

    Now a year on from my last operation and radiotherapy I have managed to get my head around the changes in my life and mostly feel positive about things. Doesn’t mean that from time to time I don’t get a little sad but then I keep busy and it takes my mind off it.

    Please do seek some assistance and give yourself some time as you will eventually come through. You have to hold on and take one day at a time although it is not easy.

    Best wishes to you.

    Lyn

    Sophie66

  • Lovely reply as always Lyn.

    So heartwarming to hear how you're improving.

    Linda x

  • Hi Linda

    Thanks for the kind words. I am always so grateful for this forum hearing from people who have had similar experiences. Family and friends are great but they don’t want you going on about issues.

    The people on this forum really ‘get it’ and have been so helpful to me.

    Hope all is going well with you.

    Lyn

    Sophie66

  • Hi, 

    My goodness, you have had a difficult journey. Im only 2 weeks into treatment so definitely do not have the experience of the other group members.  I just wanted to say that i do take antidepressants and have done for a number of years.  I can't begin to tell you how much they helped me.  It may be worth having a chat with your gp to see what they recommend.

    Love Lisa xxx

  • Hi Lady66h Sorry to meet under such circumstances . You feel how you want to  feel and look after yourself . It sounds like you are  getting over the physical stuff and now have to deal with the mental stuff. I dont know what to suggest but audible books helped me. All the Best Regards Min