New to the group

Hi Tim welcome to the group from me. This is a good place to come with any worries you may have; we have all been there and know how you feel, we can't offer any medical advice, so always get in touch with your team if you were to have any issues. We are all here to help, and someone will always answer questions if they can.

Ray.

Welcome to the club none of us want to be members of, feel free to ask anything concerning you ,meltdowns are normal ,i have lost count of the times the air has been blue in our house and things have even been thrown .Kind Regards G

Hi Tim. It is only normal to have a meltdown as recovery from cancer can be challenging. We are humming along nicely with our lives and then all of a sudden we get a cancer diagnosis out of the blue and have to adjust to that. The treatment is challenging and there are good and bad days. The good news is that the good days increase over the bad days but it takes time. It is now 3 years since my last treatment for jaw cancer and I now live a happy life and you will too. 

Hang in there, make yourself some small achievable goals so that you can have some control over your life. Just something like a short walk to the end of the street or whatever you think that you can manage. Not necessarily a goal  around exercise but anything at all. I found making these small goals really helped me to move forward.

Sending you my very best wishes

Lyn

Hi Tim welcome from me as well we’re a small friendly group always ready to listen.  We never judge anyone feel free to rant,rave  cry ir laugh on here. We’ve all been there . Meltdowns are perfectly ok I had a few at 0300 sat on the kitchen floor during my treatment and  recovery. 
Hazel x

Hi Ray

See your an old biker just like me. It's so frustrating not being to get out on my bike. Just upsets seeing them getting covered with junk in my garage.  How about you?

Hi G

Thanks for that.

I have been struggling for over 2 years now. I am still not eating regular and relying on liquid foods which keeps me going but gives me no energy. 

I was in a very dark place this morning and could not see away out. Still very emotional.

Hi Lyn

Thank you for your kind words. 

I am not far behind you I had been aware of a problem since January 2024, but was not diagnosed until September 2024, by which time it became stage 4.

I am in recovery but have side effects, ie hearing, eating, a weak jaw due to the radiotherapy, no energy and trouble breathing. 

They hope the breathing issue is because I was in bed for three months,  so should improve .

I'm pleased that you have gotten so far with your recovery and it was nice to hear from you.

Thanks Tim 

Tim - need to echo everyone else’s comments mate. I’m 8 years down the line from my cancer and have suffered the effects of an aggressive treatment regime coupled with some really bad luck. 

I became aware that following some dark (and painful moments) during my treatment I said some really hurtful things to my wife and during the intervening years I have had fleeting moments, hours and sometimes days of desperation, anger and resentment. I am not proud of these moments nor can I change them but I rest in the fact that I had a perfectly ‘normal’ reaction to a very abnormal situation.

We all have frailties, unfortunately, society has made talking openly about these things harder for us blokes (statistics tell us this) but that landscape is certainly changing for the better. Keeping an open dialogue with friends, relatives, healthcare professionals or similar souls like you’ll find in these forums is the way forward to retaining perspective and you’ll always find that someone is online at your time of need.

Speaking as someone who’s battled openly with mind health challenges following the effects of cancer and the ripples it creates across all aspects of your life, please keep in touch and feel free to ask anything. If you ‘feel it’ or ‘think about it’ - rest assured, someone will be able help you with their own outlook from a lived experience perspective!

Take care.

Hi Hazel

Thank you for your words of support. 

I was in a very dark place this morning and did not know which way to turn.

This is really the first time I've opened up. I still feel like I'm swimming upwards running out of air not reaching the surface.

I've been struggling for over 2 years, with all the side effects it just doesn't seem to end. 

I am pleased that you're doing well and will check out your sites.

Thanks Tim 

Hi Tim.

I'm hoping you're fast asleep now fella, but I'm a seasoned night owl and do most of my posting in the twilight hours.

You've had some great support from others, especially Reevsey, so I'm hoping you'll stay here to let it all out whenever you feel the need. My OH was similar to yourself, inasmuch by the time he was diagnosed so much time had gone by he was also stage 4 and with a massive tumour on his larynx. He spent three and a half months in hospital, during which he had a total laryngectomy, leaving him unable to speak and with other issues, which we're hoping will improve eventually.

As his full time carer i can relate to his dark times and the depression that ensued following life-changing surgery, none of it pleasant. Meltdowns became the norm for myself as we waved goodbye to pretty much all of our old life - his job, income, car, outings, not to mention the 'friends' who disappeared off the scene, post haste.

Now comes the good bit. Almost eighteen months down the line he's in a much better place, as am I; he still can't speak but can communicate in other ways, he's decided he doesn't want to drive again so we use taxis, I've won him a PIP award so he's got an income now, and he's started getting out and about. Over the past week he's covered around ten miles, which doesn't sound much but it's ten more than this time last year. So, small steps, literally in his case, but the difference is starting to show and we've started to appreciate every day, rather than dreading them.

Keep going my friend, just set small goals and you'll see the difference when you achieve them. I'm hoping that, very soon, you'll find yourself in a better place too. Sending big hugs xxx