Newly diagnosed

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My husband had a biopsy on his tongue a few weeks ago and went back for the results today.  He has been told it is cancer and he has to have CT and MRI scan.  There isn’t much else they could tell us at the moment, so we feel pretty much in shock.  Worrying about the future and how treatable it will be, trying not to be too negative, but it is hard.  I don’t know how to help him and want to support him as much as I can,  but it’s difficult to find the right things to say.  

  • Hi   welcome to our little community but so sorry to see you here. Apologies too for the late reply...Everybody seems to have been asleep. We usually have a few night owls here

    Try not to worry too much,It's always a shock. We tend to get diagnosed practically out of the blue when we are otherwise well. Don't look for answers on Google. Tongue cancer is not just treatable but curable but you won't know what the treatment will be till your husband has his scans.

    Whereabouts on his tongue is the  cancer?

    Help and support for now is just to be there. Listen to what he needs. If he wants to put it aside then let him and get on with life. If he needs to talk about then do. Honestly, you will feel much better about all this when you have more details and a treatment plan.

    I had a tongue cancer at the back of my mouth and I am nearly five years clear of treatment and well.

    Stay with us. There are lots of survivors here to help you both along the road

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below 

    https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com 

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

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  • Thank you, this made me cry!!   The cancer is on the side of his tongue, they obviously need to check if it’s spread to the lymph nodes as well. Completely devastated, but trying to stay positive.   
    I have read through a lot of the posts, and it has certainly given me a more positive outlook, so thank you xxx

  • Hi again Ruby. It looks like he might be a candidate for surgery whereas I just had radiotherapy as my cancer was inoperable. 

    Even with spread to lymph nodes it's curable. Lymph node spread is really common. The glands are doing their job keeping the cancer localised. It's not bad news.

    There is an organisation called Young Tongues who have a very active social media page you might find very useful. A lot of them are just like your husband so have a kook at the website which will point you to the group.

    https://www.youngtonguesglobal.com/

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below 

    https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com 

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

    Community Champion badge
  • Hi Ruby welcome from me as well. Dani advise is sound kerp off dr google. Head snd nd k cancers are responsive to treatment. When you have more info we can be more targeted with our responses. Lymph nodes I had 7 affected by time treatment started. His hud cancer at base if tongue or front are of tongue or don’t you know yet ? Try not to stress hard to say but we’ve been there done if etc 

    Hazel xx

    Hazel aka RadioactiveRaz 

    My blog is www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com  HPV 16+ tonsil cancer Now 5 years  post treatment. 35 radiotherapy 2 chemo T2N2NM.Happily getting on with living always happy to help  

  • Hi Ruby and welcome from me.  This stage is really difficult, not just for the patient but also the family; possibly more so for those who are so close to the patient.  Everybody reacts to this news differently.  My advice would be to talk about it, but listen and respect your husband's views - which may be different to what you are thinking.  As you both get more information then the talking will become more focussed and hopefully easier.  Try to find things to keep yourselves occupied - anything that you may enjoy doing together to fill the void until you have a treatment plan in place.

    In my case I had/have a similar situation to your husband and have "only" had surgery thus far.  I had 2 neck dissections, tonsillectomy and an abandoned partial glossectomy.  Having said that I am relatively unique in my cancer journey.  Overall treatment is tough and there is a long road to recovery, but the vast majority of us go on to have a good quality of life for many years.

    Peter
    See my profile for more details of my convoluted journey
  • Hi Ruby and welcome.  Feel free to read my profile it may give you some comfort.