Day Six after Diagnosis: Coping Methods

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Good morning.

I was given the news on Saturday and since then the truth that I have tonsil cancer has sunk in. I am calmer, but dark feelings can pop into my head at any moment. Now I am in that quiet phase before radiotherapy starts proper. It's time, I think, to prepare myself for the less easy times ahead. I've listed some things I will be doing:

Reading philosophy, especially the Stoics, who concentrated on examining what was in their control, and accepting, even admiring fate. This includes journaling my feelings, moods, and the physical changes that happen. Some meditation could help. Accepting the worst case scenario.
This month at least I will be keeping fit, building up my cardiovascular and muscle fitness. I am heavy so losing weight under treatment is perhaps alright.
Telling my friends and family. Obviously my partner knows, but I have hung back on telling my wider circle because I wanted to avoid hysteria. I will tell them on my terms. (I had to tell work because of pay, but it was HR not my workmates.)
Learning to ask for help if I need it.

That's it. Any suggestions welcome.

Steve

Alfienangel over 3 years ago in reply to Steve Cat Dad

Hi. It's a very difficult time. I have hyoparnygeal throat cancer. I had 6 weeks of chemo and RT. For me I wasn't bothered who knew because I then didn't have to justify anything. The treatment was gruelling and very time consuming. My family were brilliant. I'm now 5 weeks post treatment unfortunately I developed kidney issues and severe mineral defiences due to chemo so my last 2 weeks have been in hospital. I had a RIG tube fitted prior to surgery which I've had to use for everything. Swallowing is a major issue but will be receiving support for that. There are some very dark days but it is very much one day at a time. I am a very independent person but I have had to ask for help. People are happy to help accept it as people are happy to help.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Use this site and ask for counselling.

Paline

JohnK55 over 3 years ago

Hi Steve,

Reading your post made me think back to when I was diagnosed in June 2021 and what my thoughts were after the initial shock of "Why me?"

I got some books on Philosophy from the library to help me come to terms and the recognition that " bad things happen to good people" and the concept of "fati amor" did help me to accept things. I also kept a journal throughout my treatment and recovery which helped me when I had my regular reviews and provides encouragement when you are recovering post treatment. i regulary look back to see how I was even one year ago. i also found breathing exercises useful when undergoing the RT treatment which I found quite clostrophobic

I was relatively fit and healthy going in to treatment and had a RIG tube fitted however I still lost over 12kg much of which I have regained now.

Deciding how you define your situation and how you communicate that seems to be a very personal thing and I was keen to avoid some of the cliches surrounding cancer patients.

All the best with your treatment.

- John

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Day Six after Diagnosis: Coping Methods