Day Six after Diagnosis: Coping Methods

Good morning Steve,

I'm only on the first day of week 2, so a novice in all this and don't really have much to suggest.  I can only say what I did.

First of all, I have a 'it is what it is' attitude to most things in life. I also have developed an 'off' switch in my brain for when  life is pants. The way I see it this journey is different for everybody,  so I am aware of what may happen, but am not going to worry about it until/ unless it does. The radiographer said yesterday the side effects won't just happen overnight but start building,  so hopefully I'll see it coming...but that's just me and the way I deal with life. I do meditate my way through the actual radiotherapy...it really helps me.

I prepared in a more practical way. First and foremost I arranged pet care for if/when I cannot walk the dog or have to go into hospital...I've got a plan, a back up plan and a back up back up plan I got a tv put in the bedroom because it's warmer in bed and I've lost a lot of income because of this so trying to be frugal! Bought a new more comfortable loungey settee for the living room...which the cats love! Stocked up on cat/dog food etc, did a spring clean of the bungalow. 

As for telling people. I don't have anyone in my personal life to tell but work was a bit tricky. I had mentioned to a couple of people about my lump, so it was easier to just add to the tale. I told my manager who informed HR etc. I didn't want anybody to feel uncomfortable if asked where I was so I asked my manager to tell the other managers and for them to tell their teams (it's a relatively small team split into smaller teams of 4/5. So all my team @35ish colleagues know, which is what I wanted without having to individually tell them all myself

I don't find it easy asking for help but once my work colleagues were told, the lesson I have had to learn is to accept help! They have been amazing and I have been  told in no uncertain terms by everybody...if offered help, accept it!!! That's the tough one for me but I think I'm doing OK.  Not needed much so far, but I have allowed myself to be helped a couple of times where I would normally have said 'I'll manage thank you'...proud of myself 

Oh and I stocked up on toothbrushes, interdental brushes, lip balm and all that jazz. 

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.  Lot's of help and information here which I have found very useful and everybody is so friendly and welcoming. 

Take care

Linda

Ps..excuse typos, my phone has a will of its own and I don't spot all the errors

Hello, Linda.

Thanks for those tips. I hope you have a low stress journey.

Hi Steve. Please don’t use the treatment as a way to diet you really do need your strength to get through this. I was told no way should I loose for than 10% of my body weight I was  around 10 stones when treatment started., I ate to put weight on in the build up protein is required as no matter how much we try we do lose some muscle mass. 
Remember HPV tumours have excellent response to chemo radiation in my oncologist swords if he was unlucky enough to get cancer he would  take my diagnosis. Treatments pretty brutal but if I can do it anyone can. 
Don’t read too much keep it light trust your team they do this day in day out with excellent results.

Make sure you tell them how you are feeling don’t be brave you’ll more than likely need painkillers take them plus laxiodo or movicol as constipation an occur. Drink water and if yiu have a peg fitted use it.

i was the opposite I didn’t mind who knew I wasn’t hiding it from my neighbours they would soon know if they say me with n g tube and going out at times I usually wouldn’t etc  but we are all different  

Not being harsh just truthful read blog below might help. 
You’ll get there. 
Hazel xx

Thanks for those words.

Welcome thus part you are in the waiting’s the worst bit. It’s fear of the unknown we’ve been there done it got the t shirt come out the other side.Once a treatment plans in place everythjng else follows. It’s a tried and trusted route the good standard in head and neck cancers. It’s not easy but it works. I’m  just iver 4 years just off iut in my bike we’re on holiday in soain living my life to the max. 

Hazel life does go on. 

Hi Steve

I love your optimism, and i was exactly the same.  I am self employed and during the operation and recovery (6 weeks) and then the 6 weeks radiotherapy i was going work and tick things off my long to do list.

Unsurprisingly none of that happened.  I am an avid reader and even that towards the end was beyond me.

I even booked clients in for 4 weeks after radiotherapy finished and oh boy the fatigue kicked my arse big time so everything took twice as long and it felt as though i was wading through treacle.

My recommendation is be kind to yourself, stop making plans and take each day as it comes. Wake up and understand some days your body just wont be capable of much.  During my 6 weeks radiotherapy after week 2 just getting up, showered and to and from the hospital was all i could manage and even that was exhausting.

As for telling family, yes, I agree it is hard dealing with their emotions when you are just trying to focus on treatment and the way forward do, what is re right for you.

Asking for help is the hardest but this is a journey where you need help and it is ok to accept that … you will get through it and come out the other end.

If you still want to read philosophy I would recommend to Tao of Pooh or Zen flesh Zen bones ;-)

Take care of yourself.

Thanks for those wise words.

Hi. As treatment progresses & the side effects ramp up you need to listen to your body. Sleep will be a welcome relief at times. Take the pain meds on schedule, take laxatives to offset the effects of the pain meds. Take any offers of help. Have reading/tv shows that are uplifting & distract from the reality of treatment. If you fall into a dark place as I did then contact Macmillan for phone counselling sessions - they were a lifesaver. I had a PEG fitted prior to treatment & used it for night feeds via a pump from week 4. I also used it for hydration & all meds ( liquid form). Another life saver. Now 7 months post treatment I can look back & feel v proud of myself for getting through & back to a new normality. 
All the best. 

Steve Cat Dad said:

This month at least I will be keeping fit, building up my cardiovascular and muscle fitness. I am heavy so losing weight under treatment is perhaps alright.

Hi Steve. It's a good idea to make sure you're fit. It helps tremendously in recovery.

Chemo especially can affect your heart, but don't worry your team will look after you.

A word of caution. There's not much harm in losing a bit of weight with all this. I lost a few pounds but it mainly came off after I was out of the clutches of the dieticians. You get weighed all the time and they are really mean to you if you lose weight. I was warned that if I lost too much I'd be hospitalised. Of course if you're big anyway it won't matter too much but at 5'2" I didn't have much to lose.

Hang on in there. It will be over before you know

Thanks for that. Trust me, I have plenty of weight to spare.