Cancer Guilt?

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Diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the soft palate. Radiation was given to the back of throat (my uvula is gone! *sob* kinda liked the guy), both lymphs and tonsil to eradicate any excess 'bad guys'.  I have been treated 2X a day since Oct 24th. Total in all is 68 and I have 13 more to go.

They have this bell on the wall in the lobby (waiting room), to ring 3Xs to celebrate, I guess at the end of treatment. I'm having a hard time with seeing others so way worse than me struggling and don't feel worthy? Does that make sense? Granted, these 13 could be where I am the most miserable. I dunno.. 

I guess I've been waiting for the worst and either it's because I have a high tolerance for pain or I got lucky as I don't feel like a "cancer patient". Maybe the whole thing hasn't slapped me into reality? Thoughts?

  • oops posted that before I meant to. I was going to say that this forum is the only place that I talk about my cancer experience. Mostly people seem to get uncomfortable if I say anything to them.

    Lyn

    Sophie66

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Sophie66

    Hi Lyn 

    Most people are terrified of cancer, we are insulated in this forum, we know that others empathize with our situation, are comfortable with discussion 

    Peter 

  • Wow! Blush.. Thank you all SO much for the replies! ~ Means a lot as I did find my post was a bit redundant after I found a few similar and an article after posting but couldn't see an option to remove it..

    After this afternoon's treatment, I'll have 9 left out of 68 ending on next Thu 12/12.. (2x day - no wknds). I don't think I will ring the bell. I like the idea of post PET/tests before I know treatment is actually over. Weird how you need to wait 3mos before they can check to see...  

    Feeling thankful & grateful ~ Thanks guys! HuggingKissing heartKissing heartKissing heart

  • Weird how you need to wait 3mos before they can check to see...  

    PET measures the amount of radioactive decay in a dose of radioactive tracer given intravenously. Cells that metabolise the sugar in the tracer take a lot of it in and show up as glowing spots on the scan. Cancer cells metabolise sugar fast as does the brain and the liver and also inflammation. RT causes a lot of inflammation so doing a PET early while there is still this inflammation will not give a useful result. So they have to wait til that has subsided

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I BLOGGED MY TREATMENT 

    Macmillan Support Line -  0808 808 00 00 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

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  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Happymonkie

    Hi Happymonkie

    Keep posting with updates....

    Peter 

  • Thank you Bee! That actually makes total sense! Blush