Cancer Guilt?

  • 16 replies
  • 87 subscribers
  • 573 views

Diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the soft palate. Radiation was given to the back of throat (my uvula is gone! *sob* kinda liked the guy), both lymphs and tonsil to eradicate any excess 'bad guys'.  I have been treated 2X a day since Oct 24th. Total in all is 68 and I have 13 more to go.

They have this bell on the wall in the lobby (waiting room), to ring 3Xs to celebrate, I guess at the end of treatment. I'm having a hard time with seeing others so way worse than me struggling and don't feel worthy? Does that make sense? Granted, these 13 could be where I am the most miserable. I dunno.. 

I guess I've been waiting for the worst and either it's because I have a high tolerance for pain or I got lucky as I don't feel like a "cancer patient". Maybe the whole thing hasn't slapped me into reality? Thoughts?

  • oops posted that before I meant to. I was going to say that this forum is the only place that I talk about my cancer experience. Mostly people seem to get uncomfortable if I say anything to them.

    Lyn

    Sophie66

  • Hi Lyn 

    Most people are terrified of cancer, we are insulated in this forum, we know that others empathize with our situation, are comfortable with discussion 

    Peter 

  • Wow! Blush.. Thank you all SO much for the replies! ~ Means a lot as I did find my post was a bit redundant after I found a few similar and an article after posting but couldn't see an option to remove it..

    After this afternoon's treatment, I'll have 9 left out of 68 ending on next Thu 12/12.. (2x day - no wknds). I don't think I will ring the bell. I like the idea of post PET/tests before I know treatment is actually over. Weird how you need to wait 3mos before they can check to see...  

    Feeling thankful & grateful ~ Thanks guys! HuggingKissing heartKissing heartKissing heart

  • Weird how you need to wait 3mos before they can check to see...  

    PET measures the amount of radioactive decay in a dose of radioactive tracer given intravenously. Cells that metabolise the sugar in the tracer take a lot of it in and show up as glowing spots on the scan. Cancer cells metabolise sugar fast as does the brain and the liver and also inflammation. RT causes a lot of inflammation so doing a PET early while there is still this inflammation will not give a useful result. So they have to wait til that has subsided

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I BLOGGED MY TREATMENT 

    Macmillan Support Line -  0808 808 00 00 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

    Community Champion badge
  • Hi Happymonkie

    Keep posting with updates....

    Peter 

  • Thank you Bee! That actually makes total sense! Blush