Cancer Guilt?

Strange thing the mind. Funny how we always seem to have to define ourselves by outside things; other's health, beauty, money, children, success? As a whole we are a part of our families but we are all unique and all different.

Cancer has taught me to be me rather than everything for everybody else. It has taught me to be selfish; not to put myself above everything else but to look after the bit that is me.

Happymonkie said:

I'm having a hard time with seeing others so way worse than me struggling and don't feel worthy?

Survivor's guilt is what you are feeling. That never happened to me because I was one of those 

Happymonkie said:

so way worse than me

Waiting one day for my RT, NG tube in place and feeling awful,  I happened upon a chap, younger than me but who had endured the same treatment I was in the middle of, and we got to talking. It transpired that he was waiting to be discharged. He looked as if he wasn't ill at all and at that moment I saw the weeks of torment ahead of me and I hated him! I was consumed with my own misery. All for a second, though, and I wished him well, truly meant it and was happy for him.

So put your guilt away. Live your life the best you can and be kind to other people but mostly yourself

THIS ARTICLE by a psychologist about the recovery  from cancer is worth a read 

I never rang the bell or kept my mask, I was pragmatic about the whole experience, had already been through similar..... spent some time in the cancer ward which was an eye opener, some poor souls never made it out and some only had weeks ....yes others had it a little easier but that's just the nature of things.... don't feel uncomfortable with your progress 

Peter 

.

I rang the bell.. I couldn't wait.. it was a celebration of sorts that I had made it through treatment.. even though I was still in hospital.. 

my wife rang the bell last Friday, after chemo for lymphoma, and the smile on her face said it all.. what made it even more special was that my radiologist (Nic) read the words for her..

I remember when I was sitting there waiting for my treatment.. seeing folks ring the bell, seeing the joy, the relief, gave me a short term goal.  That'll be me soon..So don't feel guilty, this is your battle, acknowledge it as you will..

I kept my mask, but I could see no value in ringing a bell at the end of treatment (there was not one in my hospital, anyway).  Maybe when I'd had the post treatment scan and got the all clear it would have been more appropriate.  

I never felt like a "cancer patient".  There are some that by their very nature they wallow in self pity and there are a very few that are desperately ill.  I was all for advocating for myself, getting on with the job and looking forward to a new me.  That is the way I am.  I felt sorry for those that did not want to help themselves - and I met more than a few of those, but inspired by those that grasped the challenge and moved forwards - and I've met 2 who were subject to documentaries this year showing their treatments.

I suspect that you may fell more of a challenge as you get to the final stages of treatment and into early recovery...

I didn’t keep my mask - when offered I’m afraid I told them I never wanted to see it again- or ring the bell either. I felt no need to broadcast the end of treatment or ‘celebrate’ the end of a difficult phase with anyone other than my husband who trod the path with me….and suffered as much or more than I did.   Nothing to do with survivor guilt- just seemed a bit trivial and unnecessary really.  But understand that for others it gives a sense of closure.  We’re all different.

Liz

Hi I brought my mask home  I named her she now hangs in the garage and comes to anniversary party’s well she came to,our ruby wedding one not had since.i just didn’t want he to be destroys she was my firstb line of defence as I saw it  

I rang the bell it was a private matter it was just outside the radiotherapy room so only  people who were having radiotherapy got to hear it. I did it as a mark of treatment ending and me getting through it and others who were waiting knew that they can get through it.  
As we say we are all different 

hugs Hazel

I was like you.  I got rid of all evidence of what I’d gone through 

DesR said:

I was like you.  I got rid of all evidence of what I’d gone through 

Same here. Singleton didn’t have a bell but I wouldn’t have touched it. There was a bell at the Morriston when I was finally discharged. I took a photo of it for my blog and dared my oncologist to ring it…. So neither of us did. 
I had a blood test form on my last day of RT which I dropped in the bin on the way out. I was in charge now! 

I never felt like a cancer patient. Reading posts here, I realised just how much easier my journey was. I never felt more than a sore throat.  Annoying mucous and cough but no pain. Eating a challenge.  I also kept away from other patients. Not being able to hear was a godsend.  I only joined the forum after treatment ended.  I still don’t talk about my journey except to those close to me. The prognosis is good and I held onto that and had no anxiety or fear. I think that helped a lot 

Hi Liz

I was the same as you and when I was offered my mask I said throw it in the bin I never want to see it again. I have gone through radiotherapy twice and I felt the same both times. It was a difficult time that I did want not any reminding of. Didn't celebrate the end of treatment either as I was still in too much pain and didn't see it as the end of treatment. It was the start of recovery but did not seem like it at the time. If I start to feel sorry for myself I realise that there is always someone worse off than me not only in the cancer department and give myself a metaphorical slap although I realise that my situation is as valid as anyone's. I do have a tendency to trivialise my situation but I think that is how I cope with my ongoing side effects. Don't want to be a whinger. This forum is the only place that I

Lyn