Treatment starting soon

Hi Rachel

Age 69....I was lucky enough to have retired when tonsil cancer struck, my wife had given up work a few years back....would I have needed support if my wife was still working?....Yes 

Treatment is tough on patients and carers, mentally and physically....my wife did all of the driving to Chemoradio appointments as I was on morphine pain meds....sometimes driving to hospital twice a day....laundry...gardening.....cooking ....helping with meds....hygiene issues...finance....keeping up my morale....list goes on and on.

Challenging....very challenging for patients and carers....you will need to be flexible during treatment and recovery.

Weekends are when things can go wrong ...no support readily available....Murphy's Law.

Things do improve a couple of months after treatment finishes....hard work ahead.....make sure you find time for yourself....I made sure my wife had  happy-time with friends and family...and Cava.

Take care and best of luck

Peter

Thanks Peter. That's really helpful to know. My husband is incredibly independent and thinks he'll be fine at home on his own. He reckons he's going to get the bus in for treatment! That's a 2 hour round trip on the bus. I'm more realistic about what's to come I think and will absolutely not be letting him get the bus in.  He'll find it hard to ask for help but I guess he won't have much of a choice when it comes to it. I hope you are doing well now and enjoying retirement. 

Hi Rachel

Yes....I felt bad leaving my wife to do most things.... things are improving daily ....both off to Canaries in three weeks....welcome wee break for both of us.

Peter

Hi Rachel we all react differently but I know no way could  I have got to treatment on the bus with the best will in the world. He needs  to limit his contact with others as well having  chemo either weekly or like me every 3  weeks  only had  2 we cancelled last one. I would prepare your work for ( possibly you being iff a good few weeks either side if treatment plus take any offer if help you can get. Iff you can take him to radiotherapy and in chemo days which are longer then still get to work all well and good.  Some days the timings are very quick in and out within z0 mins other days if yiuve dietician oncolo and radio it can take a good few hours. So yiur work would need to ne  flexible. My hubby and me had retired and he did everything he drive me cooked was he dId everything  for etc for me from recording my medication to doing my feeding tube. First few weeks i was ok pottering but when thjngs change as Peter said it’s often a Friday night when there’s no one available to contact. Make sure you've plenty of medication when time is needed, plus if he’s nauseous  there’s other medication he can be given. We’ve all found it helps being pro active. 
I had 35 radiotherapy session and 2 chemo tonsil cancer 7 affected lymph nodes  HPV positive. Remember HNC HPV driven tumours do have good response rates. Yes it’s brutal but I did it. 
Any questions just ask 

Hazel 

Thank you Hazel. He definitely won't be going on a bus. My work are good it's just I don't know what to tell them right now but I'm sure they will be flexible so it's good to get an idea from you. So thank you. 

Hi Racheal , last year my hubby went through radio therapy and spent 3 and a half weeks in hospital after mandibular cancer. My boss was great and i changed my working hours and went in early left early as just over hour on bus to visit him . When he come home i took some time of and took some leave for rt. I must admit Paul did most of hes rt alone but hes was adamant he wanted that. Maybe speak to rt as they will arrange hospital transport if necesary but this could mean he will be hanging about for a while. Wishing you all the best xx

Getting the bus for the first four weeks should be ok. It’s the last two weeks where he may need you due to the fatigue that kicks in . 

I forgot to add , he needs to limit his time around people due to infection worries. A friend of mine kept working and ended up in hospital with sepsis due to infection. Just something to keep in mind. 

Yes, I agree.  I could quite happily have either driven myself to the hospital…or indeed gone on the bus if there had been one…for pretty much the entire duration of treatment …the only stressor would have been finding a parking spot at the hospital which my husband who insisted that I didn’t go on my own navigated every day.  I was lucky in that fatigue didn’t kick in until about a week after the end of my RT and it was short lived. I was also lucky that apart from in the immediate aftermath of surgery, I experienced no pain at all.  

Liz. That’s wonderful but exceptional. The reason why PEGs are on the menu is that most of us end up on morphine unable to swallow. For some of us Photobiomodulation may well change that.