Hi all,as they say it helps to talk,so here I am “talking” …..so it’s now day 8 after my husband’s first cycle of intense chemotherapy and it’s as every bit as awful as I thought it would be!! I have now been signed off work with anxiety and stress,it definitely helps not going in as they all know my husband and people on my post round do too so I was constantly telling everyone how he is feeling,which was fine because people care and they are going to ask but it was very hard!! So now I’m at home and in between trying to help him in any way that I can I’m thinking!! I became overly positive when I saw his eye becoming less “bulgy” and puffy as early as day 2!! I questioned myself as to wether it actually was or if it was just because I wanted it so badly,but others say it has too and he said it feels less swollen and less pressure,so like i said this has made me SUPER positive BUT now I’ve started thinking again “so what now” if it’s shrinking but won’t actually go completely is this our life now? His consultant still hasn’t said what happens long term if it does (which we think it is) shrink it,so much time to think,it consumes you doesn’t it!! I’m trying to get him to eat,he tries but everything taste so bad he says and his mouth is sore with ulcers,I’ve got him swooshing the mouthwash to try and help,this morning he said his head hurts less but his back is really painful,he can’t get comfortable,he feels generally rough but I do think he is improving a little day by day.It’s literally a living nightmare,the constant thinking what the future holds,I just want my hubby better,I think the journey is going to be extremely rocky but we will hopefully get back to a happy pain free place.If you are still with me,I thank you for “listening “ it certainly helps to get it out
best wishes to you all xxx
